Wednesday, November 12, 2008

My body is falling apart......

Evening folks - sorry for the late posting but it's been quite the day and I am trying avidly not to lose my mind!

Now for my "excitement" for the day....

Monday night when I went to lay down in bed, I noticed a bit of discomfort in my sternum area.
Being the person that I am, I immediately decided to investigate. I touched that area and felt a slight bulging. This prompted me to sit up and check further. All in all the bulging area was pretty pronounced and I was really puzzled. The area was soft and did not appear reddened at all. I asked Jim to feel it and he agreed it was there but soft as well.
At this point I began to run through all the possibilities I could think of.

This is where having my nursing background is good on the one hand and bad on the other.
It's nice to have some idea of what you could be dealing with however it's also a bit nerve-wracking until you know for sure.

The area has been somewhat uncomfortable/sore and so I decided to bite the bullet and get an appt. with my primary care doc.

I was able to get in to see Dr. Blatt today so after working the morning I went off to see her at 1pm.

The official diagnosis is a Ventral epigastric Hernia
She is pretty sure it is a result of the weakened state of my insides following my surgery earlier this year. The good news is that the hernia has not done anything bad or dangerous to my bowels. The bad news is that in addition to the hernia, I was also found to be anemic as well.

Given both of these things, I had to have blood work done today and possible follow-up imaging.
I was able to make an appt. with the surgeon that Dr. Blatt recommended. I see him Friday morning. I am really hoping for some good news but my guess is that I will have to have a bit of outpatient surgery to repair this thing. Not really what I want after everything I already went through medically this year.

I am NOT happy with my body right now damn it!

I guess in a weird way it has managed to take my mind off the TWW and obsessing about possible pregnancy. It's just another thing I have to "learn to accept" and deal with.

I know I am getting a lesson here - I am not sure in "what" but a lesson nonetheless!

So that has been my day - I am feeling tired, uncomfortable, and emotionally exhausted.
I figure all I can do at this point is to continue to put one foot in front of the other and keep on pluggin along. Not much in the "alternative" dept.

Nothing much to report on the "baby train" today - still holding out as far as testing goes. No "new & exciting" symptoms to share. Just still waitingggggggggggggg!!!!!
It's all I have been doing and I guess it's what I will be doing the rest of my life!

Wish this day's post was a bit more on the chipper side however I am just NOT feeling up to putting on a happy face today - the best I can do is "honest" - so there you have it.

Maybe tomorrow will be better - I am going to hope and pray for that!
Love ya'll

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