Sunday, November 30, 2008

The egg timer has sounded!!!

Yep, you guessed's "go time"!!!! I had a fantastic temp rise on my chart this morning meaning I popped this months eggie yesterday at some point! Must have been all the leftover turkey in addition to some killer holiday shopping! A great combination if I might say so myself!
Jim and I have been very good about our "baby dancing" - I am pretty sure we would have covered all our bases as far as timing goes.
If it were only a question of the timing how easy this would it goes!

Today Jim and I are finishing up some gift shopping and are also going to pick up a bit more stuff to decorate the outside of the house. I think we both are moving smoothly into this holiday season so far. No major catastrophe's at this point but time will tell. In all truth our biggest worry at this point is preventing our cat "Baby" from peeing on the Christmas tree skirt.
He did this like a champ last year! So far so good but he can be a real stinker when he wants to be. Gotta LOVE animals!!!!

Jim and I went down to visit Mom & Dad's last night for dinner. My uncle and aunt were visiting from Philadelphia, so we had the chance to spend some family time with them. It was really a great night. We had dinner and then just shmoozed the rest of the evening away.

Dad still looks a bit worn to me - I guess that is to be expected as he has so far passed at least three stones. Unfortunately, he may have more to come. I really hope that he is over this bout with them and will be back to his old self soon!

That is about the size of it for today - Hope you all had great holidays! Talk to you soon!!!!

Saturday, November 29, 2008

A 20lb turkey for 2 people......Oy Vey!!!!!!

This is about the amount of food Jim and I ingested over the last two days!!! It's amazing how you promise yourself that you won't overeat each year at Thanksgiving and then you smell the turkey baking all day and that goes right out the window!!!!

I will say that the turkey was awesome and it was our first attempt at cooking a full turkey rather than a turkey breast.

Jim and I did decide to brave the crowds yesterday on Black Friday and did fairly well all in all. We ended up getting a few things we both needed. We didn't really get out there shopping until around 8:30am and I think the madness was finally dying down by that time. We headed in Mentor to do our shopping as Geneva really has no major retailers. Our friends Ed & Steph ended up going out shopping in Mentor too. They called us around 10am and asked where we were. As it happened, we were very close to where they were and we ended up helping them bring home a few new bikes for their children. (We have a truck) It all worked out really well. We stopped and had breakfast with them and then we all headed home for a solid afternoon nap!

I decided to make some killer leftover turkey sandwiches for dinner last night. I used a loaf of crusty Italian bread and added melted butter for toasting. After I got the bread nice and browned, we added the leftover turkey and some shredded cheese. We browned them again to melt the cheese and finished them off with some lettuce and a bit of Italian dressing.
It was SOOOOOOO good!!!!!! We still have plenty of turkey and now turkey sandwich left.

Jim and I did go over to Ed & Steph's last night to hang out. We watched "Hancock" the movie which was great and then we played "Battle of the Sexes" board game. It was a hoot - we laughed our butts off. It is a bit scary to find out the things your spouse actually knows!!!!

Life in "BABYLAND" is trudging along - CD15 today and ovulation is imminent! Got my positive OPK yesterday so it's go time! Needless to say Jim and I are trying to make the most of our off time together. I just love the timing. Not too much else to share but you all know that if anything juicy pops up I will be SURE to let you know. Hehehehe!

Jim and I set up all the holiday decorations today - We got a new menorah which is pretty cool and the tree looks beautiful too!!!
Here is a pic ( not a great one but you will get the idea)
Best of both world's I think!!!!

Love you all

J & J

Thursday, November 27, 2008

Family & overeating...could it get any better?

Well here we are folks....Thanksgiving day 2008! I am sure most of you are at home in your PJ's watching Macy's Thanksgiving day parade or in the kitchen preparing your overindulgence for the day.

Jim was up super early this morning to start prep on the 20lb. turkey he is cooking for us. YES - you heard me right - a 20lb turkey for the two of us. It's the free turkey his work gave out this year. We figured we would have our Thanksgiving day meal and PLENTY of leftovers. We can always freeze some too!
I won't go into lurid detail however I will say that he was quite the site when I came into the kitchen this morning. It involved some lack of clothing and some oven mitts.

It is a true Thanksgiving memory I will NEVER forget!!!

It has been sort of an unspoken tradition for the two of us to spend Thanksgiving together here in Geneva. Jim loves to prepare the meal so it all works out.

We spent the morning watching a movie together but I suspect that Jim will spend the afternoon parked in front of his big screen watching football. If figure he deserves it after cooking all afternoon!

I have plans to try and relax the next few days. It was a bit rough being back at work and trying to catch up. I was also worried about Dad and his "kidney stone" status. I am truly hoping that we are both over the worst of all the medical stuff going on. It seems that way but you just never know!

I am also hoping to spend a little more "special quality babydancing" time with Jim over the next few days. I figure that is a fantastic way to take advantage of our time off together!!!
Who knows.....we may even get a bonus in 9 months if all works out. It never hurts to keep trying!

So it's all about food and relaxing today and then tomorrow.................................................................
The shopping is ON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I want to send out a special thank you and blessing to all my friends and family out there.
This was a rough year and I want you all to know that Jim and I appreciate all your support, patience and love. We are amazingly grateful for who and what we have in our lives. Thanks for sticking by us on this journey. Please know each of you in your own way has helped keep our hope and faith strong. Wishing each and everyone of you a blessed & joyous Thanksgiving and year!

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

A day in the life of my ovaries...........

Yes children.....these are my actual
ovulation peesticks!!!! Don't ya love it!!!!
There is nothing QUITE like sharing a picture of the insanity that happens during my "fertile time"

As you can see, I am starting to develop quite a nice progression. For all you ovulation test novices out there, let me explain how these work.
Each strip when dipped in urine, detects Lutenizing hormone (LH) Women typically have a little of this hormone in their urine at all times.
As ovulation approaches, women will get what is known as an "LH Surge". This is a big increase in the LH level in their urine. This then triggers the ovulation process and within 24-36hrs, the egg will be released. A positive result on these tests is when both lines are the same color or the test line (left one) is darker than the control line (right one).
As you can see on my tests, I am not quite there yet. I am betting that the next day or two will be my positive result. Just in time for "TURKEY DAY" - Woohoo!!!!!

Today was quite a long day at work as I am still catching up from having missed last week.
The office is in the middle of Budget time as well so it has been really hectic and crazy around the office. I am hoping for a much more quiet day tomorrow as a lot of the staff will be off early for the holiday. I seem to get more work done that way.

For those of you who keep up with my parents......Dad had a bit of a set-back last night. He ended up back at the ER for the kidney stones. He started having more pain. Luckily they were able to medicate him and give him loads of IV fluids to help move things through. His urologist basically said to expect a few bouts of this because he has several stones still to pass.
It sucks but hopefully the added fluids will help flush out those nasty buggers! He is home this evening and resting comfortably. Mom is doing the most awesome job of taking care of him. I just wish I could do something to help her catch up! (LOVE YA MOM!)

So we had some more hideous wet snow today which I absolutely hate! It is a big wet mess outside. The only upside to the crappy weather outside is that it makes Jim and I want to snuggle under the covers even more! (Wink, Wink, Nudge, Nudge!)

Well.....The Cavs game is on at 7:30pm and if I want to sneak in a "killer baby dance" with Jim...I need to get off the computer now! Catch up with ya'll soon! HUGS

Monday, November 24, 2008


Okay's the week of Thanksgiving and for those die-hard
bargain shoppers, you are probably preparing for your favorite "holiday" of all.....................................................
BLACK FRIDAY !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Black Friday shopping was something I never did until I met my husband Jim. He took me for the first time about a year after we started dating. All I can say is that I was in heaven and completely tweaked with excitement. I remember driving store to store and checking out the lines of people trying to decided if we were going to battle our way inside.
I had a blast.

Fast forward a few years and I can tell you now that my aging feelings have changed just a bit.
I am much more inclined now to stay in bed for a few extra hours and possibly miss out on that
"deal of the year". Jim and I have found that it is really not necessary to be out at the store ultra-early to get some of the great deals. We have waited til 10am on Black Friday to go shopping and have actually done very well. I think that may be our plan for this year - at least it's mine (not sure about Jim) .

Today was my first day back at work after the whole "kidney stone" debacle. Although I only work half days on Mondays, it was fairly tiring! I think my body, mind and soul are all trying to catch back up! It was good to see everyone again and feel functional. It was also nice to be missed!

On the "BABY TRAIN" - Although Jim and I don't think that we will get preggers without doing IVF, we decided we are not giving up trying naturally while we save money. I have read about so many women having it happen when the "odds" were against them - so we continue to try and keep the faith!
Today is CD10 and I have been testing with my Ovulation tests.
Nothing has shown yet but judging from my body, I think I am gearing up to "O" soon.
Jim is still a bit nervous with me in general as well as in the bedroom.
He keeps telling me he is worried I might still be "broken" (this is what he has said through all my medical stuff this year) He does not want to hurt me.
I am cleared by my primary doc as well as the surgeon so I feel confident that my body is doing fine. I just hope that Jim will relax a bit as time passes. We shall see.

As for the holidays, I told Jim that all I really wanted is to add to our IVF Fund. There is nothing gift-wise that would make me happier than adding to our savings and allowing us to doing IVF sooner. I have told my family that if they do want to give us holiday gifts this year, that adding to the IVF fund would be fantastic! It is truly amazing how your priorities shift when you are on this journey. I would be willing to give up so many things in order to make this dream come true. I know if we continue saving it will happen, but sometimes it feels so far away. Patience has never been one of my strong suits. I guess I will have to learn quickly!

So that is where I am for today.....looking forward to a short week and a lovely Thanksgiving with my absolutely FABULOUS husband (he is the best!)


Sunday, November 23, 2008

.....ahhhhh - the peace & quiet

The pic is of our whole immediate family - it's the first time we have all been together since Jim & I got married. Going from the back left and heading right you have..........................................

Jim & Jenn :)
Lulu & Doug (girlfriend & brother from CA.)
Jon (brother) Dad & Mom , Jenny (S.I.L.)
(Mom is holding Scott the newest nephew)
bottom row - Sam, Seth, Simon (the nephews)
All four of the boys belong to Jon & Jenny..............

It was fantastic to have the whole family together again. We spent the afternoon just catching up and watching "Kung Fu Panda" with the boys.

Jim & I went down to Mom & Dad's house around 11am so that we could spend some time with my brother & Lulu BEFORE the kids got there. It was really nice to just spend some quality time together. It was also nice to have about an hour of "quiet" time before the kids converged on the house! I am sure for those of you have have multiple children you understand.

My nephews are 10yrs old, 8 yrs old, 4 yrs old, and 2 months respectively. It gets a bit loud with them especially after they are fed and rested! I loved it though!

I got to spend some time with Dad just to see how he was feeling. He is doing fairly well although I am of the opinion he still looks to me like he has another stone to pass. He just has this look to him that makes me think so. Only time will tell but in the meantime, my mom is pushing fluids on him like white on rice!

I got in some outstanding "baby time" holding my nephew Scott. He is such a good baby! He is a total "scruncher" - when you hold him he just scrunches up his legs, arms and shoulders and snuggles in! It is the cutest thing. My 10yr. old nephew Sam, made sure to show me how to change Scott's dirty diaper. It was a hoot watching him show me how good he was. Here is a pic from when he was born................

After we took the family pic, Jim and I scooted home for the evening. I was pretty tired and I think we both needed some quiet time.

Sometimes after holding the baby, I feel sad and sometimes I feel hope. Today I felt a mixture of contentment, hope, faith and a small amount of bittersweetness. I don't know when or if God will grant Jim and I a child of our own- I just hope and pray that whatever may happen, that God grants us the strength to deal with it.

Well folks - off to fold some laundry and then bed! Hope you all had a great weekend!
Talk at ya tomorrow!!!!!

Friday, November 21, 2008

A tale of two turkeys.....

So Jim comes home from work yesterday evening and is banging on the door to let him. He usually just waltzes right in without even a whisper.
I lumber out of the recliner chair to see what all the fuss is about.
I open the door and there is Jim with his lunch box under his arm and a huge 20 lb. turkey hanging from each hand.

It was really QUITE THE SITE!!!! Apparently his work decided on a special "Thanksgiving bonus" of sorts.
It was a nice gesture however I am a bit afraid that a 20 lb. turkey may be a BIT TOO MUCH poultry for two people.

We are storing the extra turkey for one of Jim's co-workers. It may become ours if he decides he doesn't want it. If that becomes the case, we decided to donate it to one of the local churches.

The winter weather is now in full gear!
Aside from all the snow we have gotten, it got bitter cold last night.
I deal much better with the snow when the temp is not awful. This is the weather that makes you want to put on your flannel PJ's and curl up under the covers. Unfortunately you have to leave the house at some point.

CD7 today and got to pee on my first ovulation test strip for the month - YIPPEE!!!! Always an exciting venture in bathroom for Jenn! I had a matter of fact discussion with Jim yesterday letting him know that since I am no longer "broken" (as he likes to call it when I am ill) I intend to jump right back on the baby train. I gave him all my googled info on Hernia's and TTC so he could not argue (he never really does anyway). He just nodded and mumbled to himself as he usually does and proceeded to go work on his computer. (Gotta let the men process these things). Maybe he and I will get in some "special snuggle" time this weekend. We shall see!

Dad came home from the hospital today - WOOHOO!!!! I am so happy he is home as I am sure he is also! Jim and I intend to head down to visit the whole family on Sunday, including my brother Doug and his girlfriend Lulu. It will be really great to see everyone together.
That is really the tall and short of it as of now......Will keep you all posted.

Stay warm or cool whatever the case may be!

Thursday, November 20, 2008

....and we have a baby kidney stone! WOOHOO!!! are looking at a picture of some actual kidney stones - exciting eh?
Amazing something so small could cause so much problem for both Dad & I.
They are really quite nasty and ominous looking in my opinion.
Just had to share a pic of these nasty lil buggers.......Enough of that!

So Dad is still in the hospital but all is definitely going well. He passed what looked like several pieces of one stone or several small stones. The surgeon really believes that all the symptoms he had were related to the stone. He has been advanced in his diet and I assume if all goes well, should probably be home in the next day or two. WOOHOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I finally am feeling like a human being again for the first time in about two weeks. I started using an abdominal binder to help with the hernia (it's quite the fashion statement, I must say)
I have the weekend to get my strength back and then off to work for me on Monday.
To be honest, I really missed working and my co-workers. I feel blessed to work with a few really great people (you know who you are!)


In a small way, I did decide to jump back on the "baby train" again. Being the person I am, I had to google "Hernia + TTC" to see what came up. Judging from everything I found, there does not seem to be any added problem in trying to conceive if you have a hernia. Additionally it does not seem to cause further problems if you do indeed get pregnant. So that was really good news. I ended up re-scheduling the pelvic MRI - had to wait til Dec. 9th (first they had) I figure another cycle without it won't hurt.

Today is CD6 and just waiting to start my ovulation test strips. WOOHOO!!! something to pee on - I can't wait. If I end up ovulating around the time I normally do in my cycle, it should be on Thanksgiving day. It would certainly give new meaning to "having a bun in my oven" if I got preggers. Hard to think about "baby-dancing" on Thanksgiving though - especially after eating all that turkey! Jim and I would both be snoring before we had our clothes off! LOL!

So that' s todays news and thanks again to all who are following. I just keep trudging along!

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

IRONY is the name of the game.....

Irony comes in many I think my family became the "true definition" of Irony. Let me share why..........................

Dad is still hospitalized but is doing much better. It was determined that his symptoms seem to be a result of him passing a kidney stone and NOT a bowel obstruction. His surgeon felt confident enough in this diagnosis this afternoon that they clamped off his N/G tube (naso-gastric tube) and allowed him to take some tylenol by mouth. He did very well all afternoon and had no further stomach issues. He did however have some increase in side pain which was definitely that pesky kidney stone making it's way down his ureter. They were able to medicate him and continue to give him I.V. fluids to help pass that lil sucker. It appears that if all continues to go this way, he will pass the stone and will be able to go home without having any surgery. This is all fantastic news!!!!!

I had my follow-up appt. with the partner of the surgeon who did my surgery in April. (the surgeon who did my surgery has moved out of state) Anyhoo.....Dr. Stellato saw me this afternoon. He did a pretty thorough review of my all my medical records over the last month and he really feels that my latest symptoms and hospitalization are a result of a kidney stone.
YEP...that's right .....I said a kidney stone!
Apparently there has been a stone in my right kidney and both times I was at the E.R. , I had blood in my urine. I do definitely have a large epigastric hernia additionally however he does not feel that was the cause of my latest problems. He also said that he really felt that this hernia will not cause me problems because it is large. Apparently the small hernia's are the trouble-makers. He did not feel that I should have surgery at this time. He said that if it caused problems down the line then we could always fix it then. He also said that having hernia repair surgery is pretty painful and he usually recommends waiting until you have a real problem.
So - NO surgery for now! I am so relieved and happy I cannot begin to tell you.

Do you see the irony here? I don't think you could make this up if you tried!

So we are both very happy about the way things turned out as of now. I just pray things remain on this upswing. Hopefully Dad will pass his stone quickly and be home toot-sweet!
As for me, I just plan on hanging in there. Thanks to everyone who said an extra prayer - we both appreciate it!

I am off to bed for the it's been a long day.

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

The Definition of a BAD DAY........

1. A sudden increase in belly pain followed by nausea & vomiting
2. A trip to the local E.R. to control said above symptoms
3. Getting admitted to the local hospital overnight for observation to rule out small bowel obstruction.
4. To follow-up with surgeon wednesday and schedule hernia repair surgery.
5. Dad on his way to E.R. due to nausea/vomiting and belly pain
6. Dad admitted to local hospital for small bowel obstruction & possible G.I bleed
7. Waiting on word if Dad needs surgery or not

Does this all qualify NOW as a "BAD DAY/S ?"..........I think so!!!!!!

The ONLY bright spot in the last few days is that my brother Doug did arrive without any problem. It just sucks that he is now in the midst of what I will now call ..........................
" The Schonfeld/Barnhouse medical debacle - 2008. "
I feel so bad that he flew all this way and is now dealing with an ill sister and father.

So that is the current status of things - I am so bummed I cannot be with my father & mother right now. I will have to keep contact via phone.

I will do my best to keep up to date with posts here however that will depend on where I am - hospital WIFI is fair at best.

Trying my best to keep my head above water but I gotta admit my legs are getting tired from treading through all this crap!! Oh well - it's all I can do.

Miss you all - love you all

Saturday, November 15, 2008

Going for a zen day...................

Today is going to be a "ZEN DAY"

The good news is that I am definitely in a better frame of mind than yesterday....although to be honest I don't think I could have had much more of an "out & out, super-sized pout"

All of this surgery stuff finally had some time to sink in NOT to mention the 14 hours of sleep I got from yesterday to today. It's truly amazing what a little extra sleep will do in terms of your mood and outlook!

The only real bad news is that my Two Week Wait (TWW) is over - the stupid, stinky, cranky, crampy, bloated Old AF (Aunt Flo) witch showed up with a vengeance this morning. In many ways I am glad I held out and did NOT test - $$$$ saved on all those HPT (home preggers tests)
I am also relieved to know that given the current medical state of my body, that I am not pregnant at this time.

Now I know there are lots of people who are going to read this and think "thank goodness she did not get pregnant" - " she is very lucky to have found this out when she did!!!"

I know I should be very grateful for the timing however I am NOT quite there yet with the acceptance thing. Intellectually I understand it is a good thing I found all this out BEFORE I got preggers but emotionally I am still feeling prone to having "this sucks" moments and "five yr tantrums". I still have a long way to go before I am "okay" with everything. It is most certainly a work in progress.

I do need to send a few thank you's.......Mom & Dad - You are both the very best, and I love you so much! Thanks for schlepping me to the doc yesterday and letting me be bummed out with the news. Dad - the flowers were beautiful and a real pick-me-up!
Jim, my loving husband - thanks for schlepping me to the hospital, pharmacy and docs offices. Thanks for forcing me to put my feet up and just relax! Mostly thanks for loving me no matter what the state of my mind OR body!
Nancy & Rick - Thanks so much for the special gift you sent....You don't know how much that means to Jim and I. I am so very grateful to have friends like you all!
Jenny - thanks for being such a wonderful co-worker and friend! You also seem to know exactly what to say to make me feel better. I love working with you - it really makes my days!
Thank Goodness we share a brain!
There are so many other friends and family that have been wonderful - I can't begin to name them all - but just know that your support has been a lifesaver!

So the only thing left to do is lay low and relax so that I can take good care of the body.
I want to be in the best shape I can when I do have surgery!

Plans are to veg out today - Watch "Speed Racer" on video a bit later. Probably won't even change out of my P.J.'s - so there!!!!

Have a great day and for those of you in Ohio - get ready for the snow!!!!!!!!!!

Friday, November 14, 2008

Okay.....I am officially NOT talking to my body!


Sorry for missing a day of posting but it's been a bit hectic.
I know I left you all with my last post about the "finding of the hernia" saga......

Since then, I have been to the E.R. for further testing as well as off to see the surgeon for a consult.

The good news is that my bowel is NOT trapped at this point which eliminates emergent surgery
The bad news is that I have two hernia's - one rather large one over my sternal area and one lower in my mid-abdomen. The surgeon I saw does not do laproscopic hernia repair and referred me to a doc in Cleveland that does. He did say he was unsure if I would even be a candidate for laproscopic surgery anyway.

Based on that news, I contacted the surgeon who did my surgery earlier this year and made an appt. - Their office basically said that most likely if I had to have the hernia's surgically repaired that it would be another " open surgery " based on the fact that I have already had prior surgery this year.

Let me just share that "THIS IS NOT WHAT I WANTED TO HEAR"

So now I sit here trying to absorb this all - not understanding why and trying to swallow the knowledge that I will most likely be "off the baby train" again for another several months!

This totally blows! I am sick of doctors, tests, surgery and in general, feeling like a lab experiment. I am SO not ready to undergo surgery again after just having it earlier this year.

I know I wished for a way to make my two week wait go faster and with less obsession but " C'MON".......really?

One ironic thing is that my MRI that got "rescheduled" due to possible pregnancy is supposed to be done on this coming up Monday. I am still debating whether to go ahead with it or not. It almost seems fruitless at this point as I know we won't be doing anything "TTC" related for quite awhile.

We shall see.....I will try and keep you all in the loop as I know more.

I am looking forward to one thing - my brother Doug will be here tomorrow and I get to spend some time with him. Hopefully that will take my mind off of things!

Have a great weekend all!

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

My body is falling apart......

Evening folks - sorry for the late posting but it's been quite the day and I am trying avidly not to lose my mind!

Now for my "excitement" for the day....

Monday night when I went to lay down in bed, I noticed a bit of discomfort in my sternum area.
Being the person that I am, I immediately decided to investigate. I touched that area and felt a slight bulging. This prompted me to sit up and check further. All in all the bulging area was pretty pronounced and I was really puzzled. The area was soft and did not appear reddened at all. I asked Jim to feel it and he agreed it was there but soft as well.
At this point I began to run through all the possibilities I could think of.

This is where having my nursing background is good on the one hand and bad on the other.
It's nice to have some idea of what you could be dealing with however it's also a bit nerve-wracking until you know for sure.

The area has been somewhat uncomfortable/sore and so I decided to bite the bullet and get an appt. with my primary care doc.

I was able to get in to see Dr. Blatt today so after working the morning I went off to see her at 1pm.

The official diagnosis is a Ventral epigastric Hernia
She is pretty sure it is a result of the weakened state of my insides following my surgery earlier this year. The good news is that the hernia has not done anything bad or dangerous to my bowels. The bad news is that in addition to the hernia, I was also found to be anemic as well.

Given both of these things, I had to have blood work done today and possible follow-up imaging.
I was able to make an appt. with the surgeon that Dr. Blatt recommended. I see him Friday morning. I am really hoping for some good news but my guess is that I will have to have a bit of outpatient surgery to repair this thing. Not really what I want after everything I already went through medically this year.

I am NOT happy with my body right now damn it!

I guess in a weird way it has managed to take my mind off the TWW and obsessing about possible pregnancy. It's just another thing I have to "learn to accept" and deal with.

I know I am getting a lesson here - I am not sure in "what" but a lesson nonetheless!

So that has been my day - I am feeling tired, uncomfortable, and emotionally exhausted.
I figure all I can do at this point is to continue to put one foot in front of the other and keep on pluggin along. Not much in the "alternative" dept.

Nothing much to report on the "baby train" today - still holding out as far as testing goes. No "new & exciting" symptoms to share. Just still waitingggggggggggggg!!!!!
It's all I have been doing and I guess it's what I will be doing the rest of my life!

Wish this day's post was a bit more on the chipper side however I am just NOT feeling up to putting on a happy face today - the best I can do is "honest" - so there you have it.

Maybe tomorrow will be better - I am going to hope and pray for that!
Love ya'll

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

My hair grows too fast.......

This is the amount of hair I felt like I started with today! It is amazing to me how fast my hair grows especially with it being as short as it is.
So I feel like a new woman now that I got it cut! Got the eyebrows waxed as well so I am having a good day so far. Nothing like hair removal to pick up a ladies spirit!!!

Thank goodness it finally quit snowing yesterday as we got about 6 inches when it was all said and done. I had to officially break out my winter boots which are a pair of pink/gray monsters that basically keep my feet warm and dry. STYLISH they are NOT!!!!!!
I would love to own a pair of cute winter boots however when you wear a size 11W (thanks for the genetics dad) you don't have much of a choice. My dear husband lovingly says I have "buffalo feet" - Thanks hon! Some days I truly feel that way. The choices are much slimmer when you reach a size 10+ in ladies shoes. In a weird way, I am grateful because I am sure if I could just choose freely from all the adorable styles out there, I would go completely overboard.

There must have been a grand plan when God handed these monsters for me to stand on! At least that's what I choose to think anyway.

10DPO today and aside from a bit of fatigue I have had there is nothing really exciting to share as far as any early preggers sign/symptoms. I have been a "good girl" in holding out to POAS.
The peesticks in my bathroom are still in place and intact. Only 4 more days til I can take one!
My temps are still looking good but that can change quickly.

I wish women came with pop up timers that activated the minute the embryo implanted in your uterus. It would be so much could be sitting at works and ........
"DING" up pops your belly button timer. You are "PREGGERS" - Nice and simple.
No ripping apart pregnancy tests because you think you see a faint second line. No going pharmacy to pharmacy to find the "right" preg test because you want to find the brand that will give you your BFP!
If it were only that easy.......( a girl can dream...right?")

Well folks, it's almost time for me to head into work so I will say goodbye for now. Stay out of trouble!

Monday, November 10, 2008


Okay - so we have established that I do NOT like cold weather. In true form, we got a rude "weather awakening" last night.
After having a week of sunny weather in the 70's last week - Mother nature decided to take a proverbial "dump" on NE Ohio.
I awoke in the middle of the night last night to the electricity going off. I happened to peak outside and almost fell over! We had 3 inches of wet, slushy snow and it was coming down like crazy!!!
I believe the electric outage was due to the heavy snow on the lines. The electricity stayed off for several hours (forcing me to snuggle even more with Jim) At around 3:30am it came back on only to go off again early this afternoon for an hour or so.
I am currently typing as fast as I can in the event we lose power again!

Visited Akron yesterday morning and got to spend some time with Mom and Dad. It was great to see them. Jim loves visiting my parents however I believe the "real" reason he loves to go to Akron has to do with his favorite drive-in restaurant called "Swenson's".

For those of you who attended our wedding, you can attest to Jim's love and devotion to this fantastic burger joint! Since I grew up in Akron, I had the pleasure of introducing Jim to this special place. I think I took him there on our 3rd date. We have been going there ever since. Jim loved it so much that we actually served some of their burgers as appetizers at our wedding.
This place is an old-time drive-in burger joint which has incredible burgers, onion rings, and a great selection of shakes/malts. If you are ever in the Akron area, it is well worth the stop to have lunch.

On the baby front, today is 9DPO for me and the urge to pee on a stick is growing strong.
I am really trying with all my might to hold out testing until I am "officially late" which would be Sunday the 16th. I don't know if I will cave or not. Once I get into double digit days post O, I lose all perspective and willpower. My peesticks start calling out to me .........................................

"Jenn - woohoo....Jenn.....come get know you want to - one little test won't could be your BFP.......You can always buy more later!"

I feel like I should wear a shirt that says, " I HEAR PEESTICKS!"

Thank goodness for my fellow TTC'ers - they help me feel a little less crazy about this sort of thing and have usually been there themselves!

That is my scoop for today folks - I need to get myself ready for work. I also have to allow a bit of extra time to "scrape snow" off my car! AAAARRRRRGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!
Have a good day and wonderful week!

Saturday, November 8, 2008

KUNG FU PANDA is out on video - HURRAY!!!

Good day friends,

Another typical fall day in NE ohio. The leaves are falling everywhere and the temp is on it's way down.
We have already been out and about this morning. We were sure to get our rented copy of KUNG FU PANDA first at our local Blockbuster store.
I don't care what ANYONE says, this movie ROCKED!!!!! When we saw it at the movie theater, Jim and I were the only adults there without children.

Jim is my special "KUNGFU PANDA" - LOL! If you have met him, you know they do share a certain "likeness". hehehe

Anyhoo - with movie in hand we finished up our weekend errands and are back home to probably snuggle in for an afternoon nap.

I am 7DPO and am trying with all my might to ignore any feelings my body is having. I have spent too many months letting myself feel and/or believe that a "specific feeling or symptom" is surely the pre-cursor to my BFP only to have the stupid witch fly in and dash my hope for that cycle! It is very hard to ignore however especially when you chart daily.

So here is something interesting for this cycle:
A few months back, I was following a post on my Two Week Wait boards and one of the girls was talking about this psychic who does TTC readings. Many of the women on the this board had readings done by her and she seemed pretty accurate. Now I don't know if I fully believe in this kind of stuff BUT I was pretty curious nonetheless!

I decided to give it a shot to see what she would come up with.
Here was her "prediction" for me as far as TTC.....

Im seeing a find out/conceive or give birth month between Nov/Dec so
either find out/conceive in between Nov/Dec this year or give birth in
between Nov and Dec 2009 Im seeing a boy around this pregnancy im
seeing him with medium brown to dark brown hair. I am seeing him with
what feels to be hazel or brown eyes, not sure to be honest, but feels
on the darker side of one of the 2. This boy feels to have a baby
face even when hes older, especially in the cheeks I see him having
your eye shape, your nose, and your mouth shape.

The 1st thing I see about your son is that he comes off being
VERYsocialable and just people being VERY drawn to him. Just seems his
personality really shines and has this healing/upbeat energy too
it.Feels like when others are around him they will have no choice but
to be in a good mood because he will naturally make them feel better.
I also see him just really loving to be around people at all times,
more the better, especially when it comes to being around those in his
family. Even when hes a baby you will notice he gets to sleep much
quicker if theres constant noise, chatter, and laughter around. So if
you ever have a hard time getting him to bed record you and your
partners voices along with everyday noises and he will be off to sleep
in a heartbeat.

I also see your son being EXTREMLY polite from a very young age. This
will go into adulthood and I see whatever woman hes with he will treat
her with utmost respect and shower her with attention and gifts. I see
him just really having a feeling about him of being old fashioned
combined with likeing the fact of feeling heroic/chivalrious. Hes
definatly the kind that feels that he will open doors for others all
the time, say yes sir and maam, and that will always buy his wife
flowers everyday for no particular reason. Even when hes a child he
will have this sense of romanticism about him and because of this I
see him being a flirt from an early age too lol.

I see him in a career related to the science industry. Love, Ruby 

So that is that - and despite the fact that I would probably NOT admit it to anyone,
there is a tiny, itsy-bitsy little part of my heart that wonders given her reading
if THIS Nov/Dec. is "the one" where I WILL get my postive peestick!

I guess only time will tell. The description she gives of our "baby Barnhouse" does sound
very plausible. Jim was very happy with the fact the she predicted a boy - we shall see.

Anyhoo - I am off to get into my flannel PJ's and go take a leisurely afternoon nap!

Will chat at ya'll later!

Friday, November 7, 2008

I am getting SOOOO old!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Morning folks,

Boy am I feeling old - I actually went to sleep last night at 8:30pm.
I haven't done that since I was in grade school. My work day was not busy either so I can't use that as an excuse.

I also realized yesterday after reading my latest blog that .....
Blogging caffeinated leads to spelling and grammar issues!
Sorry folks!

So I spoke with my Doug, my oldest brother and he is all set to come out on the 15th. I am so looking forward to seeing him and his girlfriend, Lulu. Doug and I have always had a very special relationship. He pretty much "gets" me and I love him for that!
It doesn't hurt that my husband really likes him too!

So today is 6dpo and really nothing fantastic to share. Yesterday when I was at work I did notice feeling a bit dizzy. I am chalking that up to low blood sugar however as it seemed to get better after demolishing a bag of M&M's.
We had another incredibly beautiful day with sunshine and high temps. I walked to work again and loved every minute of it! I am sincerely sad about this weekends weather report as it looks like we will be in the low 40's with rain/snow. BOO HISS!!!!!

I so need to get my hair cut this weekend as I cannot do a thing with my hair. Thank goodness Jim is "hair challenged" and I cut his hair. The hair that is supposed to grow on his head seems to have a way of sprouting up elsewhere on his body!
The money we save on Jim's lack of hair is definitely used on my overabundant hair so it all balances out!

Since I feel like I don't have too much to share this morning I will wrap it up for now but will probably try to post later. Have a great day and fantastic weekend!

Thursday, November 6, 2008

Another Thursday stuck in the two week wait....

Morning folks,

Yep it happened overnight....I am now officially in full-out .....................................
It all began last night when I started to think to myself about how many DPO (days post ovulation) I was!

Now for you non-TTC'ers I will give you some of the signs & symptoms of a true case
of TWW:

1. you start repeatedly going to you chart to look at all your temps and symptoms and start looking back at all your old charts to compare
2. you go to the chart gallery and look for pregnancy charts that look like your current cycle.
3. you inventory your peestick stash and make out a shopping list
4. you start to have rapid and sudden mood swings vacillating between believing this is your month and being sure you are OUT!

These are only a few of the most well-known symptoms and I am sure there are more.

Now the second part of a ladies cycle is called the LUTEAL PHASE. This time period is very constant in terms of days for each lady. I know my average luteal phase is generally 13-14 days long. So in terms of testing I know that I am truly
"LATE" if I get to 15DPO without AF flying in. I usually make it to about 12DPO and then cave and test.
I am currently 5DPO and nowhere near testing time. After 16 months of testing early, the urge is not QUITE as great for fear of seeing the dreaded single line. The closest I have come to seeing those two wonderful lines on my peestick is when I did a medicated cycle and had and HCG trigger shot to induce my O. This causes a false positive preggers test until it leaves your body - which is about 8-10 days. YES - I totally POAS daily to watch it leave.
Sick? YES but Oh so gratifying too!

So I am sure I will be obsessing over any symptoms I have fairly soon - I promise to share with you all!

On a completely different note - I am totally LOVING the sunshine and warmth we are having here. It's been in the 70's and sunny all week! This weekend is supposed to be cold (40's and snow) so I am avidly trying to suck it all in why it lasts! I think I will walk to work today in that vain ( and yes, I do live very close to work thankfully)

I am off to do my Dunkin Donuts coffee run - yummmmy!
Have a fantastic day!

Wednesday, November 5, 2008

OBAMA won - and the doc called me back.....

Morning all,

So I am amazingly tired from staying up last night to watch the polls HOWEVER it was so worth it when OBAMA won! It is just mind-blowing that we witnessed history! I really hope and pray that this is the start of something wonderful. Time will tell.

Thank you to those who responded to me yesterday when I was having my snit - it did help me to feel better. I also decided to call the fertility center to let them know what happened at that the MRI was rescheduled. I talked with the nurse who honestly sounded baffled. I asked that the doc give me a call back as well.

The Doc did call back last night but I could not pick up the phone at that moment. She left a voicemail saying that in her entire time as a doc at the clinic, she had NEVER had their MRI dept. refuse a patient because of possible pregnancy. She said that she was stunned when she heard what had happened and that her staff also was unaware of this "protocol". She went on to say that possibly it was something new but she truly was just amazed.

The ONLY thing I can think of in this equation that it could be, was the MRI contrast medium. I was unaware they were planning to give this to me in the first place. The tech told me that the radiologist sometime use this help visualize the structures better. Maybe the doc was unaware they were using the contrast. Who the heck knows but in any case - I do feel somewhat better knowing that the fertility center really had never run into this problem before.

So basically I had all out "pout fest" yesterday with full knowledge I was only allowed one day.
Sometimes a good old fashioned pout is just what you need. I am most certainly in a better frame of mind this morning.

I believe my new inner mantra for this month is going to be.............................................................

Now I just have to practice BELIEVING that!!!!!

Have a wonderful day all - will probably be back tonight for more!

Tuesday, November 4, 2008

Okay time to vent....

Okay, time for me to vent. I drove 40 minutes to go have my MRI this morning only to be told that I can't have the test today. Here is why.....
They ask you on your medical form if there is a chance you could be preggers which of course due to timing this cycle is a possibility. Now please note that I did not schedule this appt - it was scheduled for me by the fertility center. When the nurse called to tell me the scheduled date, I asked her if I needed to do any prep or if I needed to know anything about the test. She said no. Now I sincerely would have thought that a nurse working at a fertility center would know to ask about where you are in your cycle in order to time the scheduling of this kind of test. I am sure they schedule these tests all the time.
Needless to say I was aggravated, pissed and unfortunately tearful which just made me feel incredibly stupid while talking to the MRI tech. I decided to reschedule the test in two weeks when -
1. I either get my period
2. I find out I am preggers and get to cancel this stinking test anyway

Two weeks may not seem like a long time but in my "advanced maternal age" state and overall sensitive mood lately - I just wanted to know the outcome of this test soon rather than later!
I am going to swear now - so read no further if you are easily offended.......................

I feel better now. Enough venting for the moment. Will catch ya'll when I feel more like a human being.

You are voting for OBAMA right?......

Happy election day folks,

Is everyone excited and set to do their patriotic duty? You should be as this will be a historic election! Since Jim and I already placed our votes early, it is really all about watching the results today. This should be nerve-wracking to say the least. Anyhoo enough of that!

So I am up a bit earlier than normal this AM because I am off to have a pelvic MRI done.
This is a follow-up test to my HSG (hysterosalpingogram) which showed a possible uterine shape abnormality. Hopefully the MRI will give the doc a better idea of what if any problem there might be. I am hoping this whole thing was a fluke but if it turns out to be abnormal, I am hoping it will be something easily fixable. We shall see.

I was chatting with my good friend Mike last night and explaining I had to go for this test today. When I told him it was because I had an abnormal uterine shape, he laughed and said, " It is just like you to have an ABNORMAL UTERUS - not to mention everything else abnormal about you"
I really did have to laugh because it really is true! Nothing about myself or life journey has been anything CLOSE to normal. Having an abnormal uterus on this "babytrain" is pretty much just par for the course. I just wish someone would have given me the heads up BEFORE I started this TTC thing.

I charted my temp this morning and got what we TTC'ers like to call crosshairs. This is when FF or Fertility Friend (my charting program) detects the day you ovulated and gives you lines showing as such - to see my chart click here:
The vertical line indicates O day and the horizontal line is called the coverline which just gives you an idea of a middle ground between your pre-O temps and post-O temps.
I think I actually ovulated CD13 rather than CD12 as FF says but either way we should be covered this month. At this point, only time will tell. I feel like I am babbling and there was a good point to all this.

I am now officially in what we TTC'ers like to called the dreaded.......

TWW = the time from ovulation til either:
1. the stinky, wart-covered, AF witch shows OR
2. we get a blazing BFP on our home pregnancy test!

I always vote for the latter! So now it's a question of holding out as long as possible from POAS.
I usually do really well til about 12DPO and then cave and start peeing on anything resembling a HPT! It's around 10DPO I start looking longingly at my private HPT stash. Thank God there are such things as internet cheapie pregnancy test strips and $tree store tests. I would break the bank otherwise. Makes me sincerely wish I had invested some money in Home pregnancy test companies. I would be a rich lady.

So that's the scoop for today - Hopefully my test goes uneventfully today and that my favorite candidate wins with a landslide. That is my hope and prayer for the day. We shall see.
Wishing each of you a wonderful day - get out and VOTE!!!!!

Monday, November 3, 2008

I love it when my temp goes up, up and away.....

Morning all,

Have I mentioned that I LOVE Dunkin Donuts coffee? Well I do - and I am drinking it right now. Oh - and for those of you who are saying to yourselves...."isn't caffeine a bad thing while TTC?"
My answer is this - Those of you who know me - know that I tend to err on the side of having an obsessive nature. In that vain, I have avidly researched the "caffeine issue" and "fertility". Depending on the year, study and researcher, you will find much disagreement on this subject. It seems to be that 50% of the researchers found absolutely no problem with moderate consumption of caffeine in relation to fertility issues. About 25% found significant problems with any caffeine consumption. The final 25% actually found that moderate consumption of caffeine for the man while TTC may actually help the swimmers giving them an added boost.
So this is an issue where you have to make your own informed decision and based on that I have chosen to have my one cup of DUNKIN DONUTS coffee every morning. That is my total caffeine intake for the day and gosh darn-it my "advanced maternal age" necessitates me having this pick me up. (If you have seen me first thing in the AM, you know this is true!)

That's my story and I am sticking to it! (sticks her tongue out at you all! )

So the temp this morning is looking fabulous which means in laymens terms that I probably ovulated yesterday! Can I get an AMEN?
I just have to wait another day or two to verify with my temps that this is the case. (although I already know this is the case) So all this means is that Jim and I have another "date" tonight to ensure we cover all our bases! Now I made him some special pecan chocolate-chip cookies last night so he better be bringing some "serious hopped-up swimmers" to our party tonight! I have spoken! LOL

I have a dear TTC friend I met online - (hey TATER) who emailed me this morning. It was the absolute BEST email and as such I just had to share it with you all! (hope you don't mind)

I had to e-mail you and tell you about my dream last night. You were in it
and you can decide what it means if you want and I will give you my idea. I
was at grocery store shopping and someone said that look at these hotdogs
and it was a pack of Oscar Meyer hotdogs and your picture was on everyone of
the packs. It was the picture that you sent with your wedding dress on by
the tree. Now what it means I have no idea but I believe that it means you
are going to get pregnant with a son with a big weiner and you are going to
name him OSCAR@@@ LOL

Have a great week and stay out of my dreams... (ha)

Who doesn't love that kind of dream? Anyhoo - I think there HAS to be something to that
dream! Anyone have other ideas? I would love to hear them!
I emailed her back saying I loved her thoughts on this!

So that's life on the "baby train" this morning. Nothing too exciting.

By the way - I forgot to mention that my oldest brother Doug, is coming to visit
in a few weeks and I am really excited. He lives in California and I don't get to
see him much at all. It will be so nice to get to spend some time with him and Jim
really loves spending time with him too. I guess this means I am going to have to
clean up my ebay room so that he has some space to spread out when he visits.
Ugghhhh - I hate cleaning but love my brother so it's totally worth it!

That's really it for this morning - gotta run another few errands before heading
off to work. Will try and catch ya'll later. Hugs and such!

Sunday, November 2, 2008

What no one told you about TTC........

This is an absolute must-read list I found on -

What Nobody Told You About Trying to Conceive...

That unprotected sex doesn't necessarily lead to pregnancy.

That your sex life would start to resemble a science experiment.

That you would see your OBGYN/RE more often than your DH at O time.

That the longer you TTC, the more PG women spring up around you.

That deep down inside, I can be a very jealous person.

That one day you wouldn't mind checking your CM or CP to see if it is your fertile period.

That I should have gone to medical school like my mom wanted, because I've had to do so much medical research by now just to figure out what was wrong with me, I might as well be an M.D.

That I would know more about the female reproductive system and menstrual cycle than most of the doctors I go to.

That living your life in 2 week increments would be the norm

That you never knew how much you wanted to see those 2 pink lines......until only one shows up every month

That simply relaxing will NOT get you pregnant. (your dh has to do some work too)

That you have no control over some of the goals you set...

That wishing really hard for something doesn't make it happen, and staring at your chart doesn't make it change!

That one day my DH would know so much about how my uterus functions and what it looks like from the inside (thanks HSGs).

That a pregnancy doesn't always equal a baby.

That miscarriage is so common.

That I would wish we had started TTC earlier.

That my friends' pregnancies would start to make me sad instead of happy.

That I wasted ALOT of money on Birth control pills!!

That it would help bring a group of wonderful, caring, funny, empathetic women together like this.

That I would EVER be willing to stick a little blue pill up my hoo-haa (estrace pill...done vaginally),

That I'd EVER be willing to stab myself in the stomach or @ss every day in the hopes that it will help get me PG.

That it wouldn't happen the first time you didn't use birth control like we were led to believe in school.

That you wouldn't know how important a baby was to you until it took so long and you realized what you were willing to go through to make it happen.

That family would act like getting pregnant was a competition between all the young couples in the family, and the first one to get pg "wins".

That my DH is the most wonderful and caring man!

That it is insensitive to ask people when they are having a baby!

Tat women who do get pregnant are so very blessed!

That I could have been rich saving money on condoms, which were obviously unecessary.

That I would be happy to see abundant cervial fluid and tell my DH about it.

That other people's "good news" of pregnancy makes me sad and when they tell me they have good news, I hope that they just saved a bunch of money on car insurance by switching to Geico.

That medicine and procedures are not a sure fire way to get pregnant but it is a sure fire way to lose money fast.

That had I bought stock in Clearblue Easy I'd have my mansion on St. Pete's Beach in FL by now.

That docs should prescribe Zoloft with Clomid.

That having flo show up makes you cry, no matter who's bathroom you are in.

That it does not get easier, each cycle is harder than the last.

Feeling like you wish your life away in 2 week increments.

That I wouldn't want to hold or see someone's baby because it just hurts way too much.

That a group of "strangers" who I will probably never meet, have now become my "best friends" when it comes to ttc.

That I would splash urine on my face while taking apart an hpt in the hopes there really was a 2nd pink line hiding in it.

That talking about sex with fellow TTCers would be so easy.

That infertility is more common than you think.

That DH would get used to doing his 'thing' in a jar.

That one day all of this will make us stronger.

That there is sometimes darkness (infertility) before the light (a baby).

That no one I know (in my non FF life) would have any understanding as to how I feel.

That my temper and patience are much shorter than I ever thought.

That infertility is not as rare as I was led to believe.

That I would find it extremely difficult to be happy for other people's pregnancies and I would burst into tears upon hearing their news.

That my faith in God would be tested heavily.

That I would make so many new, wonderful friends who totally get how I feel because we all suffer from the same affliction of infertility.

That it could hurt so much to lose your innocence.

That I am very bitter towards unmarried accidental pgcys, and slightly bitter towards married accidental pgcys.

That there is nothing to aid conception in the water at work, despite what some may say.

That I am so glad my neice was born when she was, early in our ttc, because if she were born now I don't think I could deal with it.

That someone I thought to be my best friend would hurt me by saying that she was sick of hearing about my efforts at ttc.

That I'd discover who my true friends are, both IRL and online.

That I'd ever be able to bond with my step-sister (also infertile).

That I'd be glad to know that I have PCOS - because at least I know what's wrong.

That I would know about other peoples' BD, CP, CM but not know there real name, their DH's name, or their occupation.

That I could spend so much time and money on figuring out what my body is doing (or not doing).

That I would have to rely on doctors to give me the final say-so on what I can or can't do (on a med/procedure break forced by my RE against my wishes)

That foreplay would consist of DH asking "How's your cervix today"

That an HSG will tell you more than just whether or not your tubes are blocked. I had no idea your uterus could be misshaped.

That one person could be "cursed" with so many different fertility problems.

That I should have become a gyno-which I think at this point I know more then some.

That some people just say the wrong things.

That a simple blood test costs $648!

That sex would ever become a chore!

That actually having a miscarriage would allow me to understand the loss that others have felt.

That miscarriage would make me want a baby even more than before!

That I would resent someone who has been trying less time than me telling me "I know how you feel..."

That DH would be overly concerned that our BD positions were the most effective ones!

That I would become NUMB to the wonderful world around me that I already have (DH, DD, family, friends, dogs, fun, etc)!

That I would become addicted to POAS and not sleep at night because I couldn't wait to POAS in the morning!

That I would be so sad, and ashamed.

That I would learn to speak in code
Like I checked Cm which was EWCM but when I will POAS who knows, dh won't let me for fear of BFN

That when AF showed up you would feel broken and disfunctional.

That your friendships with your real life girlfriends would suffer because they got pregnant after being off the pill for 3 weeks.

That this would be, by far, one of the hardest things you will ever have to go through.

That you HAVE to have sex even though you don't feel like it, but because your FM says high or peak.

That people would pity you and feel sorry for you.

That I would meet such wonderful group of people that I can share my sorrow, frustration and fears with.

That I would be going to a psychic to find out if there was a baby in my future (she told me twins in 3 to 5 months!)

That I would dream about taking my temperature and be disappointed if I woke up at 3am and it wasn't time yet.

That I would stop fantasizing about having a baby because it stopped making me happy.

That I would buy herbs and otc creams like vitex and progest, use them for two days, and then chicken out.

That I would hear well-meaning questions like: "Have you thought of taking your temperature?" (and this is after 20 months TTC...)

That my brother, who started TTC at the same time we did and whose wife got PG three months later, would go on and on telling me how tough and tiring life with a baby is, and then finish with: "You have no idea what it's like!"

That the two little words of "just relax" uttered by everyone I know would enfuriate me beyond belief.

That someone would suggest adoption to me in order to get pregnant (because it happened to a friend of theirs) before I had even had any testing done.

That we would have to schedule a BD session so DH could do it in a cup a few days later.

That I would have to help DH do it in a cup. (Just this morning!)

That my friends who started TTC #1 around the same time we did would already be pregnant with #2 before we get pregnant with #1.

That I wouldn't be able to attend my friend's babies 1st birthday parties because of the quesiton, "So, when are ya'll going to have children."

That the people around me would become more insensitive as time goes on. "It is so hard having a new baby, you just wouldn't understand." or "Be happy you're not tied down."

That I would watch a Baby Story every day... only to cry every day.

That it puts this much strain on a marriage.

That I spent years trying not to get pregnant, and praying for my period. Now I can't seem to lose the witch!

It's good to know I am not alone.

That I would have to listen to people complain about their children as if they were burdens while a child is the one thing in the world I want the most. Also, they sound as if they are trying to talk me out of having kids, like it is the absolute worst thing that could ever happen to me.

That being overweight would cause people to ask when I'm due, which in turn could cause me to cry.

That I would yell at commercials on the TV (that "having a baby changes everything" one really gets to me. I can't watch it without snapping "So does not having one.")

That I would have to stop watching Birth Day and A Baby Story (two shows I love) because it just hurts too much.

That every girl should go to the gyn as soon as she gets AF the first time. If I had, I would have been dx with PCOS a lot faster.

That a friend would hid and ignore her own pregnancy to try to keep me from being upset. (we found out when she gave birth)

That sex does NOT ALWAY equal pregnancy or STD every time

That your body has its own mind.

That you would be keeping it a secret from everyone.

That you would cry your eyeballs out b/c AF showed.

That you would be jealous when everyone around you get pg including your 16yo cousin.

That you would tell everyone you're not ready for a child when they ask what your waiting for.

Life as you know it will be interrupted for two weeks.

That the broken heart you feel each month that is equal to the pain you feel when you lose a loved one.

That all of a sudden nursing other people's babies becomes a depressing NOT joyful feeling

That you feel useless as a female

That you will soon be lying through your teeth telling people that you don't want children

That you feel that your body has betrayed you by not delivering a regular cycle, the right about of the required "hormones" or doing what it should now how to do.

That you feel stupid and naive for thinking a pregnancy would occur "when it was supposed to".

That answering questions (and usually lying) about pregnancy or family plans would hurt so bad.

Guess whose poppin out an egg? :)

Morning all,

Gotta love daylights savings time - at least in the fall! It was really nice to have that extra hour to curl up under my covers this morning. At least until my "pleasantly plump" kitty cat decided to take a flying leap right on to my hip (OUCH!!!!) Lucky for him - he is pretty adorable at times.

I was thinking about my baby journey and realized that there are so many of you out there who are unfamiliar with all the trying to conceive slang - so to help all those folks out......

WELCOME TO TTC 101 - a primer in creating a baby!
Here are a few of the more common abbreviations:

TTC = trying to conceive
DH = Darling husband
AF = Aunt flo (your period - aka the witch)
BD = Babydance (aka-sex)
POAS = peeing on a stick
HPT = home pregnancy test
OPK = ovulation predictor kit
CM = cervical mucus
EWCM = eggwhite cervical mucus (the really fertile kind)
DPO = days post ovulation
CD = cycle day
BFN = big fat negative
BFP = big fat positive
IUI = intra-uterine insemination
IVF = invitro fertilization
O = ovulation, ovulate
RE = reproductive endocrinolgist (fertility doc)
S/A = semen analysis
TWW = two week wait

There are literally hundreds more but for the sake of time and my poor fingers we will leave it at that. I will try to elaborate on any abbreviations that may need further explanations.

So I tell you all this so that I can share my POAS experience yesterday!
I was CD12 yesterday and have been testing with my ovulation test strips for a few days now.
I tested yesterday afternoon and evening and got BLAZINGLY positive results!
So to explain - when a woman gets a positive ovulation test result it means she is catching her lutenizing hormone surge. This usually precedes ovulation by 12 -36 hours.
Since I already knew from some of my other fertility signs that I was in my "fertile time" I was watching and waiting for my BFP ovulation test. Well, yesterday was it!

In the land of baby-making - the woman is most fertile the 4 days prior to and the day of ovulation. So in terms of timing our baby dancing, DH and I are right on track this month. Now we are on an every other day BD schedule due to the docs recommendations. This helps Jim's swimmers replenish and recharge in between. This also helps to diminish any grumbling on Jim's side about the "on demand sex" Who would have ever thought THAT would be a problem?

I can definitely tell this morning that I am in total "ovulation" mode. Judging from the side discomfort I am having, I am popping out one heck of an egg from my right side. I know, I know....probably more than you really wanted to know but you ARE reading my blog for goodness sake! LOL

Not much else to tell - just another lazy Sunday afternoon here. My plans this afternoon really revolve around making homemade calzones for Jim. He has to have something special to eat while watching "the game" (Jenn just shakes her head) Gotta throw a few loads of laundry in the wash too. So much fun! Hope you all enjoyed sleeping in a bit! HUGS

Saturday, November 1, 2008

a romp in the hay then doing our patriotic duty...

Good afternoon folks -

I am so glad to finally get some feedback on the blog. I was really unsure of how this whole thing we be received but so far everyone has been fantastic! We just hope that you all will gather up the courage to leave a comment to let us know you are around.

So it is another beautiful, sunny, temperate Saturday here in Geneva, Ohio.
Our grand plans today involved our scheduled AM "baby dance" romp followed by a trip to our local Board of elections to vote early.

The DH - (darling husband) was a bit on the cranky side this AM thus making it a tad difficult to convince him to get into the mood. Much coercion, guilt and pouting ensued with me winning of course! :) Sheesh - all that complaining for a good 10 minutes - (oops did I write that out loud?) Anyhoo - the deed got done and we were able to move on with our day. WOOHOO!

We headed out to our local Board of Elections which is in Jefferson, Ohio. All I need to say is if Geneva is considered a small town, then Jefferson is considered tiny. The board of elections was a bit dated to say the least. We did have to wait about 45 minutes but at least we avoided the lines for Tuesday. I am relieved we got to do this early - and I am very excited to see what the outcome of this election will be ! (Hoping OBAMA wins!) (Sorry McCain fans)

So that's pretty much our excitement so far for the day - I think a bit of relaxation will be the agenda for the rest of our day. Who knows - maybe I will coerce DH back into bed later!

Wishing everyone a wonderful weekend - Don't forget to set your clocks back tonight!