Thursday, September 24, 2009

Show & Tell - I am so "grapeful" today!!!

Here we are again boys and girls - SHOW & TELL a la Mel - the time of the week where you get to show off all your great stuff and see what everyone else is showing too!

Don't forget to pop on over to MEL'S STIRRUP QUEENS to see all the goodies!!!


This weeks S & T is all about my support for a wonderful annual event that takes place this weekend in my home town of Geneva, Ohio. It is called THE GRAPE JAMBOREE~!

Let me give you a bit of background:
Apparently (and as I have learned since moving to Geneva) grape growing takes the perfect combination of weather and soil in order to yield a healthy vineyard. As it turns out - my tiny little sleeper town of Geneva meets all those conditions. In our county, we have somewhere around 8-10 winery's and probably closer to 15 vineyards. Not too shabby when you consider that this OHIO and not...let's say.......California.

The Geneva Grape Jamboree celebrates the harvesting of the local grapes. Visitors may taste freshly squeezed grape juice, wine, and various other grape products. It is full of some of the best assortment of fried fair foods you have ever had, rides, games, booths, parades and more.

This is the 46th year this festival is being celebrated.....which I think is fabulous!!!
Now to my S & T which is why you are all here.
Yesterday I decided to go all out and show my support for this great festival . I decked myself out in my best "grapey" ensemble before I headed off to work and this is how I looked......

Now if you are asking yourself why I chose to do my "grapey" best during the middle of the week - I will remind you fair readers that I am scheduled for surgery Thursday afternoon. I did NOT want to miss out in showing MY support so I just did it a bit early. The best part was that no one in town blinked an eye when I made my rounds yesterday. Everyone just LOVED IT!!

P.S. - Trying to paint a bunch of grapes on your face at 7:15am with the kitten from HELL getting into your paint - is not as easy as it looks! I would not recommend it to anyone!


I will hopefully only be in the hospital a few days but the internet connection there is touchy at best - I won't be posting til I am home from the hospital. I am aiming for this time next week!
I promise to catch up my bloggy reading then.

Hugs and Smooches til then my friends!


Saturday, September 19, 2009

Zoey reduces her carbon footprint.......

I did not know she was so earth conscience.
Who woulda' thunk?


Mood report:

Thursday, September 17, 2009

Show & Tell + a total meltdown!

Here we are again boys and girls - SHOW & TELL a la Mel - the time of the week where you get to show off all your great stuff and see what everyone else is showing too!

Don't forget to pop on over to MEL'S STIRRUP QUEENS to see all the goodies!!!

***To be followed by an emotional vent of epic proportions***


As I have been running a bit low on energy - I am also running a bit low on the choices of cool and amazing things to share with you all for S & T.

However, as most of you know I am quite determined at times and when I set my mind to it, I can be downright obsessive. In that vain, I managed to dig up a few special pics to share with you all this week. Hope this puts a smile on your face!
(I am secretly hoping that it will put a smile on my face as well)

I would like to introduce you all to a couple of my new friends.
They just moved in with my neighbors last week and are the stars of the neighborhood!

INTRODUCING.....Madison & Mason:

This is MASON

They are eight weeks old and absolutely a blast!!!
Madison is a total spaz and bully while Mason is very laid back and sweet.

I get to see them every morning when I go out to my car on my way to work.
I have to say it's a great way to start the day!

Vent of Epic proportions by Jenn:

My disclaimer: If you are a friend, family member or co-worker who might be reading this post today, I ask you to keep in mind that this is my place to lay it all out - good or bad, right or wrong, crazy or sane. My rantings are NOT directed at anyone personally.

I woke up this morning rather abruptly (thanks to the big fat orange monster - aka-Babycat)
It was the kind of waking up that leaves you feeling tired, shaky and generally crappy all day long. My belly had been somewhat bothersome all night so I know I did not sleep soundly. I truly wanted nothing more than to go back to bed.

Instead, I forced my ass up and got ready for work.

Dragged my butt into work and basically tried to occupy myself with tasks for the first few hours. All the while, I am slamming my DD coffee and downing a few bagelfuls.

The early afternoon is where things went awry - In the space of about two hours, I was handed the dreaded news that most infertiles fear getting and loathe dealing with.

The "I am preggers" announcement.
Not once BUT twice!

One co-worker's sister (whom I had passed on a fertility book to) finally got pregnant after using some hefty IF drugs.
Another co-worker, who also had gone through IF problems, found out she was pregnant as well.

So two announcements in one morning.

I think I did pretty well considering the absolute cluster fuck of emotions that flooded my heart in the seconds following each announcement.
I even managed to ask if I could hug my co-worker while wishing her well.

Now I know that WITHOUT a doubt I was absolutely thrilled that these two ladies beat the odds in their IF journey. It felt like they both gave a big old F-you to Infertility.
For that I was so damn happy.

But also in that same moment...I felt this swell of emotions come bubbling up. I could feel it coming, rumbling and knew that it was NOT going to be good. I decided that the quickest and best course of action was to head off to lunch a half hour early.

I got into my truck, dialed mom on my cell phone and made it half way up the road before I totally broke down.

When I say broke down - I mean utterly and totally from the depths of my soul - fell apart.
I probably sobbed, yelled, and vented for a good 25 minutes.

Thank you Mom - I love you - what else can I say?

Guess I still have some Infertility grief to deal with - well shit!

How can you grieve something you want yet have never had?

I managed to get enough of that emotional crap out to be able to get myself back together within the hour and head back to work.
Red cheeked and snot-nosed but back to work nonetheless.

It was a long afternoon - my heart was really not in it.
I am pretty sure my closest co-workers knew my heart was hurting - and they knew why.
They know about MY infertility journey.
I love them for just letting me be me - good or bad.

I will need some time to process the day.
Leaving that for another day - gonna head off to bed early tonight.
Thank God for new day tomorrow!


Tuesday, September 15, 2009

Super Sushi Tuesday - a lesson in patience.

Here we are again folks....SUPER SUSHI TUESDAY!!!
It's the day of the week I devote to all the little things that put a smile on your face.

You know - like when the girl at the Dunkin Donuts throws you a freebie donut with your AM coffee OR when your hubby shows up on one of your particularly bad days with a bag of your favorite white chocolate.

Just that little extra special something - the one that puts a smile on your face!

My Super Sushi Something this week is this adorable frog pin that my dear friend, Linda got me.

It's a special reminder from her to me - FROG = Forever rely on God.
Something I often forget and can use a daily reminder of!!! Especially lately!

Don't forget to leave a comment with YOUR SUPER SUSHI SOMETHING!!!!!


You are probably saying to yourself...."where the heck have you been Jenn?
Your posts have been hit and miss - here and there -
To be honest....I miss you all more!

I guess the best I can say at this point is....."Where do I start?"

So much has gone on with this old body of mine over the last two years - Lately, it's all I can do to keep my head above water emotionally not to mention physically.

Aside from all the medical crap going on - which by the way - necessitates me undergoing yet another open abdominal surgery next week, I am doing my darndest to keep myself in an emotionally neutral zone. And before you say....."Jenn, why aren't you thinking positive?" I am aiming for neutral and not positive simply out of sheer self-preservation. The emotional energy I have put forth to keep my sanity in all this, wears me out nearly as quickly as all the physical stuff. Add in a bad day with pain and HOLY SHIT...can things get tough.

So here I am - working through it all - hoping & praying that THIS surgery works.
Not posting too much because after all.......people gotta be getting tired of listening to my woes and in all honesty, I am kind of sick of it myself.
I truly wish I had more energy - I do miss keeping up with all my bloggy friends and have done my very best to try and touch base with some of you.
For those of you I missed - I am sorry - just know you are in my thoughts!


Adoption plans are still on hold until all this medical shit is dealt with.
Does it break my heart? - ABSOLUTELY
Do I know that the timing is not right? - ABSOLUTELY
Do I wish things were different and that we could be moving forward?
YES YES and YES again.

What I do know definitively is that I must be in better place, physically, emotionally and spiritually before we consider proceeding any further on our adoption journey.
I want to be able to put my best foot forward and know that for the moment, that is just not possible with the way things stand.

So back to what all us infertiles know best.............wait.....time.....patience.
That just sucks pickles sometimes!


Zoey pic of the week:


Thursday, September 3, 2009

Show & Tell - more monkey!!!

Here we are again boys and girls - Show & Tell a la Mel - the time of the week where you get to show off all your great stuff and see what everyone else is showing too!

Don't forget to pop on over to STIRRUP QUEENS to see all the goodies!


My Monkey bounty overfloweth this week - I think it was the anniversary that put me over the edge! (Yeah - right - that was it...hehe)

For your S & T viewing pleasure - may I present....................................


Gotta love EVERYTHING about a sock monkey purse!!!
My Bear is THE BEST!!!


Zoey pic of the day:


Tuesday, September 1, 2009

Super Sushi Tues, An Anniversary & The peeing bandit

Above is a picture of MY SUSHI TUESDAY SPECIAL SOMETHING -Thanks to the one of the BEST friends in the world (MARY) for sending me these sushi scrap booking stickers. I absolutely went nuts when I got them!


Here we are again folks.....SUSHI TUESDAY.....the day of the week that I have devoted entirely to all the little things that put a smile on every one's face~

You know..... like when the cashier doubles your grocery coupon just because OR the when the clerk at Dunkin Donuts makes your coffee with just the perfect amount of sugar and cream without having to ask. Just that perfect little extra special something!

Don't forget to leave a comment with YOUR SPECIAL SOMETHING!


Today is a very special day. Two years ago today, I had the incredible privilege of marrying one of the most amazing, loving and gentle men I have ever met. We have already endured more in our two years of marriage than most couples I know however I believe that has made our relationship much stronger.

To my Bear....I am ever so grateful for the day you came into my life and changed it forever. A day has not gone by that you fail to show me how much you love me. You bring out the best in me and make me want to be a better person. You are my anchor, my strength, and my love of all times! Thank you for allowing me to share this lifetime with you!


The Tale of the Peeing Bandit

See Baby - A.K.A. - The lazy, spiteful Orange Creature

See Zoey - A.K.A. - The adorable, spastic black monster

See spastic Monster with her favorite "Monkey baby" toy

See how well they get along and love one another........RIGHT????


See peed upon "Monkey Baby toy" drying after vinegar bath.
*the note says "Beware of the big orange creature....Monkey*

Guess who did the peeing???????????????


Intimate & hormonal sharing to follow.................this is your chance to click away..............Don't say I didn't warn ya!

P.S. I would like to send a big old F*CK you to AUNT FLO for her extraordinary timeliness. She never ceases to amaze me - so far this year she has managed to arrive on my birthday, on surgery day each time I have had it AND now on my anniversary day.