Going for a zen day...................

Today is going to be a "ZEN DAY"

The good news is that I am definitely in a better frame of mind than yesterday....although to be honest I don't think I could have had much more of an "out & out, super-sized pout"

All of this surgery stuff finally had some time to sink in NOT to mention the 14 hours of sleep I got from yesterday to today. It's truly amazing what a little extra sleep will do in terms of your mood and outlook!

The only real bad news is that my Two Week Wait (TWW) is over - the stupid, stinky, cranky, crampy, bloated Old AF (Aunt Flo) witch showed up with a vengeance this morning. In many ways I am glad I held out and did NOT test - $$$$ saved on all those HPT (home preggers tests)
I am also relieved to know that given the current medical state of my body, that I am not pregnant at this time.

Now I know there are lots of people who are going to read this and think "thank goodness she did not get pregnant" - " she is very lucky to have found this out when she did!!!"

I know I should be very grateful for the timing however I am NOT quite there yet with the acceptance thing. Intellectually I understand it is a good thing I found all this out BEFORE I got preggers but emotionally I am still feeling prone to having "this sucks" moments and "five yr tantrums". I still have a long way to go before I am "okay" with everything. It is most certainly a work in progress.

I do need to send a few thank you's.......Mom & Dad - You are both the very best, and I love you so much! Thanks for schlepping me to the doc yesterday and letting me be bummed out with the news. Dad - the flowers were beautiful and a real pick-me-up!
Jim, my loving husband - thanks for schlepping me to the hospital, pharmacy and docs offices. Thanks for forcing me to put my feet up and just relax! Mostly thanks for loving me no matter what the state of my mind OR body!
Nancy & Rick - Thanks so much for the special gift you sent....You don't know how much that means to Jim and I. I am so very grateful to have friends like you all!
Jenny - thanks for being such a wonderful co-worker and friend! You also seem to know exactly what to say to make me feel better. I love working with you - it really makes my days!
Thank Goodness we share a brain!
There are so many other friends and family that have been wonderful - I can't begin to name them all - but just know that your support has been a lifesaver!

So the only thing left to do is lay low and relax so that I can take good care of the body.
I want to be in the best shape I can when I do have surgery!

Plans are to veg out today - Watch "Speed Racer" on video a bit later. Probably won't even change out of my P.J.'s - so there!!!!

Have a great day and for those of you in Ohio - get ready for the snow!!!!!!!!!!