I love my boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Got to wear one of the "new bras" that I got the other day......

OMG - it was unbelievable!

I could not keep my eyes and hands off my boobs all day!

My boobs were actually where they belong as opposed to their normal daily migration south.

I had to give my co-workers a disclaimer about why I was feeling myself up all day.
(not that they would bat an eyelash at my behavior anyway)

I am giving a big old SHOUT OUT to PLAYTEX.....THANK YOU for that bra!!!!
My boobs have not looked this good since I was in my twenties!

On to non-tata related topics....

My body has been acting very odd this week:
I have been..........
Amazingly tired (sleeping soundly)
Belly very sore (mostly last two days)
Spotting on and off (AF came and went over the weekend)
Emotions all over the place (not anything new but thought I would mention it)

WTF????????????

Can anyone out there give me thoughts, opinions, ideas on this......
I am at a total loss!

Zoey is biting my feet and hubby is whining for me to come to bed soon.

Not much else to share!

Hugs and Kitty kisses!

MOOD REPORT:

Can Kittens have A.D.D.?????

Someone should have warned us about the energy a 7 wk old kitten has once she is feeling better!!! OMG - can you say Spasticat? I thought you could!!!
She is literally all over the place.
It's hilarious to watch her go bananas for an hour and then as quickly as she started, she nods off into a power kitty nap!

Her upper respiratory infection is all gone and her eye is nearly healed thank goodness!
( It only took two trips to the vet and $151.00 later)

Let me also share that our Zoey is quite the eater.....when we took her to the vet a week and a half ago, she weighed exactly 1lb. The other day hubby took her upstairs and put her on our postal scale ...........................wait for it...............wait for it..............................................................

She weighed 1lb 6.2oz - YES you heard right....she gained 6.2oz in just one week.
And here I was all worried about her not eating the first few days we had her - Sheesh!!!
What was I thinking????

She has generally spent the last few days being a total terror to our other cat "Baby"

Apparently she does not quite understand that when Baby hisses, growls or bats at her that he is trying to scare her off. She thinks this is "fun" and "playtime" and continues to just follow Baby around everywhere he roams!!! It's like the little sister just following her older brother everywhere until he yells at her to go home!!! (except she doesn't listen very well)

I decided that staying in yesterday's funk was nothing but tiresome and futile.

Today brought a slightly improved mood and outlook.

Still not happy about what is going on with my body however I am trying to honor it no matter
where I am at. That is such a tough thing. I have never been too good to my body.

Maybe it's time I start.

I did convince hubby to take a short walk with me after dinner....figured the exercise and fresh air couldn't hurt!! It felt pretty good.

One small step at a time I guess.......wish I could just make one big leap and everything would be great.

Alas, that has never been the path that has been laid out for me.
Probably a really good reason for that too!

Betcha I would have missed a lot along the way......YEAH...I am sure I would have missed a lot!

Next week starts our adoption/foster classes......
Feels like a mixed bag of emotions with that.

Excitement
Fear
Anxiety
Anger
Joy
Hopefulness
Confusion

and so on.............

Trying to just be present for today......
That is so hard!!!

MOOD REPORT:

Have I mentioned that I HATE roller coasters?

Emotional roller coasters that is.

After many failed attempts at trying to find an appropriate graph pic on google to describe the emotional ride I have been on, I gave up and took out a marker and paper.

Exhibit A: Above graph pictorial (fairly lame and highly generic)
Twas the best I could do.

So yesterday and today are not my best days.

Had grand plans of heading into Akron yesterday to spend the afternoon with my friend and mom . We were going to get some REAL chinese for a change as opposed to the "Americanized" crap we have up here in Geneva.

Making a long story short -Spent most of Sunday night and monday morning in the bathroom.
It's truly amazing how a bad case of the stomach flu can take so much energy out of you.
Needless to say I have not been out of the house for more than 10 minutes for fear of not being close enough to a potty.

Aunt Flo was in town this weekend which is normally enough in and of itself to send my fairly stable moods into spastic overdrive!!

The kicker with her arrival THIS cycle was that she was about 3-4 days early which would not be a big deal normally except that this is the second cycle that has shortened lately.
In other words, the second half of my cycle - called the luteal phase which is supposed to stay the same, has gotten shorter.
I have always been between 12-13 days long which is considered normal in the TTC world.
Suddenly I have had a cycle with a luteal phase of 11 days and then 9 days this cycle.

Let me try to explain why this might be bothersome:
A shortening luteal phase combined with my advanced maternal age of 38 and my FSH/estrogen ratio can mean that I am entering into a lovely thing called peri-menopause.
That period of time when your body starts sending out all things "halt" to your reproductive organs. It's sort of like a company spending a few months gearing up for lay-offs.
It's uncomfortable and sucks but gives everyone some time to "accept" the inevitable.
So that is where I think I am....... Let's call it "PERI-MENOPAUSE LIMBO"
No way to know for sure however it's a hunch I have.
It is pretty disheartening to think that I might be headed in that direction and am still childless.
It is hard to explain how I can be upset or sad even though we aren't trying anymore.
The idea of my body starting to officially shut down my ovaries just breaks my heart.
Even though we are not TTC
Even though we really had little chance of success on our own
Even though we are pursing adoption

Hubby has been trying avidly to understand and be supportive but I know he doesn't completely get how I can be sad about losing my fertility if we are going to adopt. In his mind, it probably makes no sense whatsoever! It's so tough to try and explain to men.

So that is where I am at.......
Emotionally labile and in fertility limbo I guess.

Even trying to focus on the positive things has been half-assed at best.

Loving up my fur-ball Zoey has been a mixed bag - She is adorable and I love her to death but the longing for a child or our own becomes amazingly strong the more time I spend with her.

Guess the idea of getting a fur-baby to appease my baby-longing did not quite work out the way that we had intended. Oh well......we got a cutie either way!

I guess the other thing that has been really hard to deal with lately is that so many of my TTC buddies online have recently gotten their surprise BFP's.
On the one hand, I am so incredibly happy and thrilled for these ladies as they have all truly battled to get preggers.
On the other hand, It is so very hard to feel left behind.

It's like being the kid at the back of the class who is the last one to be picked for teams EXCEPT that the bell rings before you can even get picked last. It's over before you even get the chance to start.

Feel like I am blathering on today.....obviously not a particularly upbeat or positive post but
at least it's honest. Best I can do for today.

MOOD REPORT:

Show & Tell - Sunshine and new bras........

Welcome one - Welcome all.....It is that time again for your weekly Show & Tell a la Mel!!!
Come join the rest of the class and check out what everyone else is showing...............................
Stirrup Queens & Sperm Jesters Palace

So ladies and gentlemen....Yesterday was a great day!

Got up early with hubby - spent the morning trolling yard sales amidst the most INCREDIBLE
warm, sunny, 80 degree weather we have had as of late.

In the afternoon, made a special jaunt out to one of our favorite roadside ice cream stands called
"The Whippy Dip" (and yes, if you are ever in the area - it is a MUST STOP place!)
The place over 30 flavors of soft-serve ice cream. Cake batter and chocolate brownie batter - just to name a few of these luscious treats!!!

Headed back home to catch up on some yard work, a brief rest and some Zoey playtime!!!

Which brings me to Picture #1 for S & T:












Betcha can't guess whose hiding in my hoodie pocket?
Betcha also can't guess who fell asleep there for an hour?

It was a bit humorous, ironic and weird to be walking around with a "faux baby bump"!!!
Who woulda thunk?

After catching up a bit at home, hubby and decided to go out and do some shopping.
The trip was multi-focused:

1. purchase some new, longer-lasting tiki torches for our "Monkey Bar and Grill area"
2. purchase myself some new hearty "boobie holders" (bras is such a boring term)
3. purchase hubby some new short-sleeve shirts

Hubby and I split up in the store to tackle our lists.

I headed directly into the lingerie section and surprisingly enough was able to pick out three
good choices of bras right off the bat!

Now this may not SEEM like a major accomplishment to all you "regular boobie sized gals" with all your hundreds of cute choices BUT for a heavy hitter like me...........44DD....it can be a very daunting task. Usually not much to choose from and at times NOT the cutest selection!
(and YES...I DID just list my bra size - DEAL WITH IT!!!)

So for Show and Tell pic #2 - my bra selection for your enjoyment:

















Please note the clearance tag on one of the bras......it was actually half THAT price (WOOT!!!)
The middle bra had a $2 off coupon as well which by the way got doubled (double coupon week at K-mart rocks)
Needless to say I think I spent a total of about $30.00 for all three bras which I think is about the BEST BRA PROCUREMENT I have ever had! (Go me!!!)

After my successful bra jaunt, I was able to help hubby pick out three new shirts which I think look incredibly handsome on him!!! ( he wouldn't let me take a pic )

We finished up at K-mart and headed out to Lowe's to look for the Tiki Torches.
Ended up getting two wrought iron ones with copper bowls which are really nice!

After shopping we met up with friends at a new Italian restaurant in our area called
LITTLE ITALY and had dinner.
This was our first trip there and I am SOOOOO glad we went!
It was amazing. Apparently the owners are really Italian and the grandfather has been baking for years. Their food was outstanding but their baked goods were HEAVENLY!!!

We normally don't get dessert however made a total exception in this case.
I brought home a chocolate truffle brownie and hubby brought home a peanut butter pie slice.

Worth every last stinking calorie!!!!

We ended our evening with our friends sitting in our "Monkey Bar & Grill" area with our
fire pit roaring and our new tiki torches all aglow!!!!

I think a very nice end to a perfect day - wouldn't you say?

MOOD REPORT:

One Goal............

............................................................... WE WON !!!!!!!!!!! .............................................................

MOOD REPORT:

Such a big girl!!!!!!!!

OUR LITTLE ESCAPE ARTIST


So here is the next update on our little fur baby ZOEY:

She is officially a "big girl" - she has managed to tackle litter training like a champ!!!
We are so very proud of her - this is a big accomplishment for a 6 week old.

I was really getting a bit worried earlier this week when she really hadn't eaten much of her hard food. I totally caved and went and got her some soft canned food which she proceeded to devour!
Now...let me paint the picture of her eating....it's hilarious!

She now knows the sound of the can being opened which prompts her to immediately start crying like crazy. Once the food is in her dish she comes flying over to start eating.
Now remember that she still has a pretty nasty upper respiratory infection which is making her completely congested and snotty! She is slightly wheezy and sneezing as well.

She starts eating and all the while is wheezing, sneezing, snarfing and such.
She starts to get really happy while she is eating and begins to purr also.
Then to top it all off.......she adds in some semi-meow sounds as she is chomping away.

It is a combination of the most hilarious and pathetic thing you have ever seen or heard!!

It has me in stitches every time she does it!


I had a small epiphany this week ....
It started after I took her to the vet for her infection
It creeped in when I got up in the middle of the night to her cries
It continued when I went out to get her the canned food when she wouldn't eat
It progressed when I jumped up and down clapping like a fool when she used her litter box
It got clearer when I gave her medicine twice a day
It became evident when I cleaned her tushie for

You get the idea.......I am a MOM - a good MOM

Not a mom to our "Baby Barnhouse" but a MOM nonetheless!

Maybe God wants me to practice up a bit....at least that's what I am thinking for now!
Maybe this is a sign of good things to come.

I sure hope so but for now I am going to believe that our little ZOEY is part of the bigger plan.

In the meantime....I am thrilled to be a "real mom" for a change.
Love every worried, sick, stinky, excited moment of it!

MOOD REPORT:

Things you need in life............

How nice it would be if it were really that simple!

Busted Uterus? Duct tape it.

Rusty tubes and slow swimmers? Add a litte WD40 and voila!!!! smooth sailing all around.

This is where my mind wanders off into it's own little world.....

A world that contains the following equations:

love-making = pregnancy AND
pregnancy = healthy baby

A girl can dream right????

Funny how although we are now actively pursuing adoption to build our family that there is still this tiny sniggling infertility voice in the nether regions of my brain that continues to speak to me.

The conversations generally go something like this:

IF: "Hey Jenn, Jenn.....Jennnnnnnn!!!!"

JENN: "What do you want? (said with disgust, annoyance and eyes rolling)

IF: "Why don't you just try ONE more time?" "Just ONE more cycle"

JENN: "Are you fucking retarded? - We have been through this already. ENOUGH"

IF: "Easy there sparky.....I am NOT retarded (Bitch!- said under her breath)"

JENN: "Sorry about that....just a little touchy today"

IF: "No problem - although I guess your moodiness can't be blamed on TTC anymore eh?"
(snickers to herself)

JENN: "Nice - and thank you for that reminder"

IF: "Hey Jenn, Jenn, .........JENN!!!!!!!!!!!"

JENN: "WHAT.....for God's sakes.....WHAT?"

IF: "Jenn - you know you hear stories all the time about woman in their late thirties/early forties, with fertility problems, finally 'relaxing', starting adoption classes and POOF!!! they get preggers" "Maybe that will happen for you"

JENN: "Fat chance there Capt Optimism.....I have a better chance of losing 100lbs, putting on a bikini and performing on Dancing With the Stars"

IF: "Wow.....thanks for that visual (shudders to herself)" "But still.....It could happen!"

JENN: "Doubtful - Now Can we talk about something else.....like maybe chocolate or kittens?"

IF: "Sheesh.........only trying to help" "Chocolate........mmmm! You gonna get me some?"

And then my mind wanders off to a land of chocolate AND kittens!!! A great combination I say!

So speaking of adoption stuff:
We are officially signed up to start the adoption classes through the county.
They start May 4th and run through June. They are twice a week from 6p - 9p.

We decided to pursue going through the county to help defray some of the costs involved with this process. In the meantime, we are going to actively continue to put the word out and search for a birth mother on our own.

Hopefully this is the right route for us to take - but I am sure we will learn as we go along.
As for our new little "Furbaby - Zoey"....
Took her to the vet yesterday to check out her eye.
She has an upper respiratory infection and eye infection as well.
The doc put her on a liquid antibiotic and eye ointment.
She is in otherwise good health - she weighs in at a whopping 1lb.

She is a total escape artist and we had to be pretty creative to find something to keep her in her room - using a storm window as a gate.

Last night when I put her back in her room, I noticed she had tinkled in her litter box for the first time!!! WOOHOO!!!! Such a big girl!!! I was so excited and shocked that I actually called my parents to tell them. (Yep - I am THAT big of a dork!)

Can you imagine when we get our child? OY VEY?

I am hanging in there - caught a bit of a cold myself this week.
I don't know who is sneezing and snarfing more....me or Zoey.

That's the scoop for now....Wishing you all a chocolate and kitten filled week!!!

MOOD REPORT:

Show & Tell - The ZOEY SHOW!!!!

Well boys and girls....it's that time again.....SHOW & TELL a la MEL
Head on over and check out what the rest of the class is showing!!!
STIRRUP QUEENS

So our new little baby has finally arrived.....ZOEY came home last night!!! WOOHOO!!!
Unfortunately she got a small eye infection which we are treating however she is definitely NO worse for the wear! I am devoting this entire show & tell to pictures of her!
The quality of the pics is average at best - done with my camera phone but you get the idea!

So without further ado................................................HERE'S ZOEY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Random Thoughts Wednesday..........

ABSOLUTELY NOTHING FERTILITY RELATED BEING POSTED TODAY!!!!!

Random Thoughts Wednesday:

Do my farts make a deeper impression in my carbon footprint?

I think my left boob is jealous of my right boob (righty is slightly bigger)

Why do I still find writing or saying the word FART hilarious at age 38? (let alone doing it)

I am glad I am plump......that way if we go to war and I am stuck in a bomb shelter...I can live off my body fat (the skinny kids are screwed!)

Does picking my husbands' back constitute foreplay? If so I am so totally skilled!!~!~!

MOOD REPORT:

Hey Interneters..........WE NEED YOUR HELP!!!!!

Most of you know that Jim and I have been looking into different family building options for quite some time now.

Well we have finally made some concrete decisions.
Pretty scary and emotion-filled decisions.

1.We are NOT going to pursue anymore medical interventions with the fertility doc.
2.We are NOT going to "actively try" but rather go back to basics and enjoy our sex life again!
3.We are GOING ahead with trying to adopt domestically.

This is the reason for this post:

We need your help!

Many of you have recently received a letter from us in regards to our adoption plans
BUT we are hoping many others out there in BLOGLAND are reading this as well.

Here is our letter re-printed in hopes that either a birthmother somewhere out there will be reading OR that someone knows of a birthmother who wants to place her child!!!

Dear Friends, Family and loyal readers,

I am sending out this mass letter in hopes of quickly reaching as many people as
possible.

Most of you know by now that Jim and I have been on a journey trying to have a
child since late 2007. After several unsuccessful months, we decided to pursue
getting some help from a fertility specialist. After much testing it was
determined that there were fertility issues for us both.

The specialist feels that our chances of conceiving without significant medical
intervention is extremely poor. The recommended course of treatment would be
In Vitro Fertilization.

Jim and I have given much thought to this and feel that given my age, past
medical problems and finances, we would NOT pursue this avenue.

We do however want very much to have a child or children in our lives.

This is the reason I am writing – Jim and I are now pursuing domestic adoption
and need your help!

We have looked into private agencies as well as the public child welfare
systems. We have also been in contact with a friend who works for an adoption
agency.

It seems that the quickest and least expensive route for us to bring home a
child of our own would be to locate a birthmother ourselves.

We were encouraged to put the word out in any way we could, to everyone we knew
in hopes that a contact may be made. As such, here is our first attempt at
getting the word out. We are planning on building an informational family
website online as well as putting ads on youtube.com.

Here is where you come in:

We are asking all of you to keep this in your thoughts as you go about your
days. Please fee free to pass this information on to your friends, co-workers,
family, church groups, etc. The more we are able to get the word out, the
broader our chances are of starting a family. We feel strongly that if enough
people get the word out for us that the child that is meant to be ours will
come.

If you have any questions, please feel free to contact.
JandJ@roadrunner.com

Check out our family building endeavors on my blog:
JandJbabyjourney.blogspot.com

We thank you from the bottom of our hearts!!!

Jenn and Jim Barnhouse

MOOD REPORT:

Show & Tell - April 12th 2009

Welcome one - Welcome all

It's that time again.....

Your weekly Show & Tell

a la Mel @ Stirrup Queens

Pop on over to see what the
rest of the class is showing!!!


Such an errand filled weekend!!! Took care of lots of stuff around the house yesterday.

Since we don't celebrate Easter Sunday and I had missed spending Passover with family this week, Jim and I decided to go down and spend the day with my parents in Akron today.

We left really early this morning....6:30am (Yuck!) made our Dunkin Donuts run for coffee & donuts and headed on our way.

This has been the first real lengthy outing I have had since my surgery so I was definitely ready.

Mom and I had planned to do some serious cooking all morning while the boys did their own thing. Mostly, we just like to keep them out of the kitchen while we are baking!

Mom and I tackled making some "killer brisket" and several pounds of her homemade macaroni & cheese (which ROCKS by the way) We ended up with about 5 meals a piece to freeze.
It is so very nice to put these in the freezer and have them to just pop in the oven when I don't feel like cooking!

Later in the afternoon, all of us sat in front of Dad's big screen TV watching
The Cavaliers VS The Celtics ( We whooped some serious Celtics butts!! WOOHOO!!!)

I don't have anything too amazing for SHOW & TELL today but
I did happen to take a few pics of "the boys" and my parents' dog Max sitting together.

It always makes me smile to see my dad and my husband together!

Have I mentioned just how much they are like one another? Well they are!
Quite a bit alike.....from their business sense, to their stubborness, to them both being color-blind and balding, to their incredibly warm hearts, etc.
This list is much longer but you get the point!

And yes I am quite aware of the whole "Freudian girls want to marry their daddy" thing.
It is what it is!

Anyhoo....here are a few pics of "the boys"


Hoping everyone had a fantastic holiday!!!!!

MOOD REPORT:

Happy Passover/Easter ya'll!!!!

To all my non-Jewish friends out there......Wishing a Happy Easter/ Good Friday!!!

To all my Jewish friends/family out there......Happy Passover!!!

(the pic was the best I could do for both world's.....whew!!!!!!!!)

So folks........I was awarded yet another blogger award by my dear blogger friend
Kate at I Can't Whistle . Kate is such a sweet and heartfelt woman. She has shared her struggles and successes with grace and honesty. I love reading her blog....it never fails to put a smile on my face. After an enormously long and difficult infertility journey, she has finally gotten preggers (WOOHOO!!) Please keep her in your thoughts and prayers folks!!

Anyhoo.....she so lovingly nominated me for this award:

The Sisterhood Award
This award is also given for bloggers showing great attitude or great gratitude.

Thank you kate....it means a lot to me!!!

Per the rules of this award, I am supposed to pass this on to 10 other bloggers however
most of the lovely ladies that I read have already gotten this.....so I am going to change up the rules slightly (yep - I'm gonna do it) I am going to give this to a "real life" friend who I think definitely deserves it!

Sending this award out to my friend Linda B.
This incredible woman came into my life at a time when I was in a really bad place. She always had this phenomenal sense of calm & peace about her. She put out her hand to me and guided me through that rough time and has been with me ever since. She has an over-abundance of love, wisdom and grace that she is always willing to share. She totally deserves this award and at least a hundred others in my opinion!
Love you LINDA - you are the best!!!

In other news, our new baby kitten, Zoey might be coming home with us this weekend.....it really all depends on if she takes to eating kitten food. We are eager to get her home with us but I know it will happen when it happens.

It's funny.....I was thinking to myself that if I am this anxious, nervous, excited and impatient about bringing home our baby kitten, I cannot begin to think about what it will be like to bring home our baby.

I think that is the first time I have actually put into words that come hell or high water,
Jim and I will have a child.
I need to stay in this moment and in this belief.
I have been so used to this place of wanting, hoping, praying, longing, and emptiness.
This place of being a couple....being a wife.

The thought of actually getting to be a mom and part of a family is totally new territory for me.
I am opening myself to this possibility today.....I am going to try and stay in this scary place.
Maybe if I stay here long enough, it will become comfortable and eventually will come to pass!

Today I am grateful for:
1. chocolate....need I say more!
2. walking with hubby hand in hand - love those private moments
3. our business on ebay......love doing it!
4. Spring in Ohio.....everything is starting to bloom
5. making it through my first week back at work
6. laughter.....LOVE IT!
7. my relationship with God - she is always with me!
8. .63 Polar Pop (fountain soda they sell at the local convenient store) YUM!!!
9. Sex - NOT BABY DANCING - with my husband
10. My computer - don't know what I would do without being able to blog!

MOOD REPORT:

Oh crap I forgot ....grateful grateful grateful

So I just realized that in my excitement over having a new name for the day, that I completely forgot to post my gratitude list.....Getting old sucks dingleberries!

Today I am grateful for:
1. My king size foam topped mattress which is the bomb!
2. That I have not gained any weight while going through all my surgery (Thank GOD!)
3. That I actually like the taste of matzoh that we eat during Passover.
4. That it was sunny and warm enough yesterday to be able to cook some hamburgers
on the grill.
5. That my husband loves my boobs and butt! (baby got back!)
6. That my Cat "Baby" still comes up daily and does the "paw paw" dance on me.
7. That we have two running vehicles.
8. That I still have both of my wonderful parents around to annoy!
9. That I will always be younger than my brothers (I'm the baby and the only girl- WOOT!)
10. That you are all still probably reading my blog despite the insanity contained within!

HUGS

National Name Youself Day.............

April 9th, 2009 - Today is National Name Yourself Day

and NOW the picture above is starting to make a bit more sense.

but you are still wondering to yourself......."a blonde in lingerie with THAT name.....really?"

And to you I say.................HELL YEAH!!! I always wanted to be a blonde, look THIS good as a plus size lady AND have a kick ass stripper name!

Today was the day.....So for the rest of the day you all have to call me by my new name......

Violet Von Buditas

Has a nice ring doesn't it? I think so!

Won't you come celebrate today with me? Pretty Please????

Leave a comment with your "new name" and an explanation of why you chose it!!!

I cannot wait!!!

On other topics:
I survived my first day back at work - it was actually awesome to be back and to see everyone!

Upon returning and putting my purse away, I received a card from my very dear friend and co-worker, Jenny (you better be coming up with a new name Jenny!!!)

I have to share this card with you all because it is SOOOOO incredibly fabulous and honestly it almost made me have to turn around to go home and change my panties (laughed that hard)

In order to share it...I had to do a cut/paste/scan jobby......but I am sure you will get the idea!
Here it is:

Don't ya just love it? I did! And boy oh boy could I relate!!!
If you knew our boss you would completely understand.

Not much else to share....and anyway this post is mostly my extremely dorky attempts
at sucking you all into my twisted little world -

So What will YOUR new name be??????????

MOOD REPORT:

Chubby is as chubby does..............

So yesterday, Jim and I make our evening trek out to pick up our dinners....................
Sushi for me and McDonald's for him.

We are catching up on our day while in the truck and roll up to the drive-thru window at McDonald's to order.

Before Jim can say a word.....a woman's voice comes over the speaker saying the following......
"Welcome to McDonald's....who you be interested in adding a snack wrap and/or making your value meal a large for only an additional .99 cents?"

I say to him....."crap...I didn't know they added a camera to the drive-thru speaker area so that they can size up the customers..........what? Did they see the chubby couple pull up and think ......YES, We hit the jackpot!!!" "Are they adding extra fries and apple pies to the fryer as we speak?" "NICE!!!"

I think they should name the camera "the McChubby Cam"...........
"This way they can gear their add on sales to the specific customer - salad & parfaits for the skinny folk and super-size big mac meals w/ apple pies for the "larger than life" crowd!

This prompted a 10 minute barrage of jokes to one another while getting his food!!!!!!!

Gotta love it!!!

As for my week of gratitude.....so far so good....but I want to continue on this trend.
So here goes:

FOR THESE THINGS, I AM GRATEFUL:
1. Going back to work and being missed
2. The snow is gone and the sun is out
3. That Jim and I found an old family tree in his fathers things....it goes back to 1690 (cool eh?)
4. That yesterday I was able to re-connect with an old counselor who now happens to be working in an Adoption agency (she is sending me info)
5. That Jim was given more responsibility at work and with it came an unexpected raise!!!
6. That I am feeling good physically, mentally, and spiritually today
7. That today is the start of Passover (click on it to get an explanation if you are so inclined)
8. That we have done excellent in sales on ebay lately
9. That I got my hair done and my gray is gone ( DOUBLE WOOT!!!)
10. That the young man who works at the Dunkin Donuts drive-thru window makes my
coffee PERFECTLY every time!!!


There it is!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

MOOD REPORT:

Just trying to stay grateful....

So trying to keep it grateful............Shit that is hard...........really, really HARD!!!

But I am not a quitter so in that vain.....I am going to give it my best shot!

MY GRATEFUL LIST:
1. Despite this wretched economy..........I have a job that I love to go back to tomorrow!!!!
2. I am learning patience, diligence and faith on this TTC journey.
3. My husband still makes me laugh just about every day.....Thank God!!!
4. Most of my friends are at least as twisted and "off" as I am.....Thank God again!!!!
5. I have an unbelievably supportive loving family!
6. I am well over five years clean & sober.....God willing.
7. I have four amazingly adorable and precocious nephews whom I adore.
8. For today....................my body is healthy.
9. Dunkin donuts coffee is the nectar of the God's!
10. I am still hopeful that Jim and I will be parents soon!

There you have it folks........

And just because it's me and I can.................
SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT on this weather!!! WTF? Snow in April?
We get it Mother Nature....You are the Queen....we understand.....now ENOUGH ALREADY!
SHEESH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(Hey, I told you being grateful is hard!)

(And NO...I am NOT going to be grateful for the "beautiful crisp snow" because I hate it!)

(And Don't any of you DARE to leave me a comment saying otherwise or else I will personally load up a truck of this miserable white stuff and dump it on your porch so you can't get out!)

SO THERE!!! Tthhhhhhpppppptttt!!!
Enough of that rant!

On a completely side note.....Jim and I are going to an informational seminar on adoption tonight.
We thought at least getting some info might be a good start.
It's funny though..........I am actually a bit nervous!!!
Maybe after going through all the fertility treatments, there is a part of me that is sad about leaving it all behind.
Maybe it's the thought of not "qualifying" to be an adoptive parent that scares me.
Maybe it's the thought that even "this" may not work and we will be childless.

Uggghhhh - so many thoughts and feelings.
If any of you out there in blog-land are going through or have been through this whole adoption process....I would totally WELCOME any and all advice you could offer.

MOOD REPORT:

Show & Tell - I can't keep surprises....

Yes folks....it is that time again!

Time for our weekly
Show & Tell a la Mel



Head over to Stirrup Queens and Don't forget to check out what everyone else is showing at
the front of class..........You don't want to miss it!

So I was going to try and hold out with the surprise I had for you all BUT to be perfectly honest
I not great with secrets!!!

So in that vain.......I decided to give in to my inner 5th grader and just put it all out there!

Somewhere in the last month, in the midst of my continuing baby-longing angst, hubby
decided to have the following conversation with me:
Jim: "hey hon, have you thought about getting another pet?"

Me: " ummmm no"

Jim: "Cuz I was just thinking that maybe we could get another pet"

Me: "ummmm, I really hadn't given it much thought. Did you have something in mind?"

Jim: "Well I really don't want a dog.......you have to give them too much care and can't leave them alone long" ( with that comment - I can't wait til we have a baby in the house folks)

Me: "So you were actually thinking about getting another cat?"

Jim: " yeah....why?"

Me: "Ummmm have you looked at our Babycat lately? Not exactly what you would call the 'poster child' of good cats" ( at which point we both nod vigorously and burst into a fit of giggles)

Jim: "I just thought getting another cat might cheer us all up" (translation= I am trying to fill your baby void by giving you an animal to take care of dear!)

Me: "Okay...I guess we could do that....but I think I want a kitten and not a cat"

Jim: "Sounds good to me"

This conversation is followed by several weeks of us visiting numerous local Humane Society websites online to check out what's available as well as me avidly researching how to gently
integrate a new kitten into a household that already has an adult cat (OY VEY!!!)

So fast forward to yesterday morning.

Jim and I are discussing whether or not to paint the paneling in the house. (It's a very
old house and the paneling makes the place look pretty dark)
We had pretty much decided we wanted to go ahead with this project so Jim calls up our very
favorite handyman, Chris to discuss this!

Just an aside - Chris has put in our dishwasher, re-done our entire front porch, put in a new front door, and helped fix MANY MANY little things around the house (he is a gem!)

Jim starts chatting with Chris about the painting job and when he could come over to give us an estimate. Jim explains to Chris that we are going out that afternoon to the Humane Society to look for a kitten and that if he wants to come over it will have to be much later in the day.

All of a sudden, I hear Jim go...."oh really.....mmm hmmm....I see"

Jim says "hey hon.....guess what......Chris's cat just had kittens a month ago and he is trying to find homes for them" (at which point I start to jump up and down in an excited kid-like state)

So making a long story short (sorry for the length folks but it IS my blog -thhhthhhhhhtppppt!!!)
Chris comes over yesterday morning with one of his little friends tucked into his jacket.

She is 4wks old and we won't be able to bring her home with us for a week or two.
She has to be weaned first!

So for your viewing pleasure and much to my utter delight.....
I present...........................................
ZOEY

Holy Awards Infertile-girl............

So here I am doing my daily cruising around stalking all of my favorite blogs when ...........BAM.....out of nowhere......I see my name in lights!!

(Well not really in lights per say but let me roll with it)

I was given the VERY INFAMOUS LEMONADE AWARD!!!

Jenn....what's the LEMONADE AWARD you may be asking yourself? Well let me explain!

This Lemonade Award is given to bloggers in recognition of
"great attitude or gratitude."

Apparently my much improved mood (see earlier post) as of today was enough to earn me this great prize!!!
(again...let's roll with it folks!)

So my dear friend - BEAUTIFUL MESS over at Life Induces thoughts, mostly random was the special individual who nominated me. THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!!!

The point of getting this award is to find some continued gratefulness each day AND more importantly to pass this on to another special blogger.

Here's what to do:
1. Put the Lemonade Award logo on your blog or post
2. Nominate blogs that show great attitude or gratitude
3. Link to your nominees within your post
4. Let the nominees know that they have received this award by commenting on their blog
5. Share the love and link to the person from whom you received your award.

So in the vain of passing this on............................
I am officially nominating DORA from ISO the Golden Egg
First and Foremost....she just had some absolutely AMAZING news.....(gotta link over to see)
She has had such a difficult, long road but has not given up.
She is able to be honest AND completely hilarious in the same breath!
You are a very special lady - Prayers, thoughts and continued happiness dear!

So there you have it.....go check out some of these other wonderful ladies blogs....
You won't regret doing so!