Tuesday, March 31, 2009

Just waiting on the Wicked Witch...

Today is Tuesday.......just sitting in my recliner thinking.

I did get to go out yesterday with mom - she made the trip up here to spend some time with me.
I dragged her out to a retail store called "Cato's" which she had never been to.
She literally had "the BEST shopping experience" of her life!!! It was pretty awesome to behold.
Everything she tried on seemed to fit great AND was on clearance as well!
It was pretty cool to just act as her private shopper!!!!
It was also great to just be able to catch up and "girl chat" - she is truly great for that!!!

As for me....
I Am definitely in a PMS, Baby-Envy, Disgusted Infertile, sick-of-being-in-the house, sort of a mood!
Yea for me!

Pretty sure most of this is hormone-induced as Aunt Flo should be riding in to town by the end of this week. Nothing like my body to send me into a flurry of infertility self-loathing!!!

Add in the requisite "newly preggers with a small baby bump" teenage waitress at lunch yesterday to add to my overall crappy and pitiful mood.

Did some more serious talking with hubby this weekend about the adoption thing.
I think that added to the intense longing I am feeling as well.

On the adoption front, I think we are at least going to try and get some solid beginners information.
There are truly so many laws, questions, situations, and concerns that I need to have explained before we can even begin to head down this road.!

I was catching up on some of my blog reading yesterday when I happened upon the greatest post from EVE at INFERTILITY ROCKS.
Her post....."It's not that easy being green" spoke to my heart yesterday.
One of the most poignant things that touched me was the following.......................
She is talking about people saying....."motherhood is the hardest job in the world"
A few lines down she says the following............

"As someone who’s done other extremely stressful, unrewarding and undesirable jobs, motherhood is a piece of cake."
"NOT being a mother when you want to is infinitely harder than being one."

That hit me like a ton of bricks....it also made me break down into a sniveling, snotty, tearful,
pathetic mess upon reading it!

This is why I blog and read others Infertility blogs.....it never ceases to amaze me how when I am feeling my shittiest, that I happen to come across my exact feelings put into words by some wonderful woman out there. THANK GOD!!!

EVE....Thank you, Thank you, Thank you!!!

I do get to head back to work as of next week Wednesday which I guess is something....WooHoo!
I think getting out of the house and back to world of city government will do me good.

Not much else going on...and honestly I am tired, bloated and sick of complaining for now!
Until next time!



Scrambled Egg said...

Hey thanks for the comment on my blog..and the well wishes! Same to you!

Anonymous said...

I recently came accross your blog and have been reading along. I thought I would leave my first comment. I dont know what to say except that I have enjoyed reading. Nice blog. I will keep visiting this blog very often.



Eve said...

I don't how I missed this earlier. Thank you so much for recognizing my post!!! I'm so glad that something in there made you feel understand. It is completely and utterly true...motherhood is not so tough compared to infertility. Hoping that is a reality you can see for youself ASAP!!!!!