Sunday, May 17, 2009

Show and Tell - True colors.........

Can you believe it's that time again (actually a day late even but hey whose counting)
Time for SHOW & TELL a la MEL at Stirrup Queens....Stop on over and check out what the rest of the class is showing!!!!

Hang in there with my long ass story - I promise that S & T will follow but I have to set it up first! Patience Patience!!!

It's been a bit of a crazy week which I really don't have the energy to go into - suffice to say my body is NOT cooperating with me at all. It has definitely been sucky at worst and annoying at best. It is nothing new but alas it somehow manged to smack me in the ass when I wasn't expecting it. I really hate that. I also hate having friends and family worry about me.
I know I can't do a damn thing about that but it still makes me crazy!
I always seem to feel that there are SOOO many others out there with much more on their plate- I feel THOSE are the people that the worry should go to.

Again - not in my control - I know, I know!

What all this aggravation HAS managed to make me do is stop - step back and take a good look at where I am and what I am doing.

I had to look at my my whole self - body, mind and soul!

I realized I have been in a place of " all or nothingness"
A place of " emotional highs or lows"
Being " hopeful/faithful or desperate/hopelessness"
A place of " physical wellness or significant illness"

and have not been ANYWHERE in between for quite some time now.
I really think I had completely forgotten how to be in that "middle ground" - that "prayerful place" - that place of " physical wellness" - that place of "quiet serenity" etc.

Maybe it's a combination of things:
my medical issues and my aging body
learning how to build a successful marriage
trying to conceive and our infertility journey
letting go of where I "thought" I would be at 38, etc.

Whatever the cause - I realized that I wasn't listening to the messages life was sending me.

Here I think that God has been trying for QUITE some time now to get me to slow down.
To enjoy life - one thing at a time, one day at a time - quietly, gently, serenely.
To pay attention to ALL of me - body, mind AND spirit.
Take care of each of these parts EVERYDAY!

I just have not been listening. I have gotten caught up in my old "black and white" thinking.

In the midst of all this - I realized something wonderful.

I realized that in all my craziness, and utter extremes, I am not only loved but understood.

You all get me - you really really do - It's amazing to me really!!!

So brings me to my Show & Tell for this week:
I was flipping through the channels on the TV this morning and came across the show
Private Sessions on A & E - They were doing a show on the artist, Cyndi Lauper.

They talked with her about her life, career and plans for the future. They also showed her performing some of her old and newer songs.

One of the songs she performed was "True Colors" which happens to be a favorite of mine.

It made me think of you all - my family, IRL friends, Bloggy friends, etc
It made me remember - You all get me - You really really do!
Thank you for that!



Vintage Mommy said...

Hi Jenn,
I've not been to your blog before,but I know all about "all or nothing" thinking! Weight loss, becoming a parent, that kind of thinking can really sabotage us, can't it?

We adopted almost 8 years ago, so I was happy to see that you're considering adoption.

And that Zoey is the cutest kitten ever!

mekate said...

Hey there,
just wanted to say that you are saying things that are so familiar-- about not being where you expected, and hearing your Self telling you to slow down a bit. I wish you all good things, your true colors are vibrant and lovely Jenn, I hope your body moves toward something more comfortable and comforting and that your Whole self moves there as well. Warmly, Kate

WiseGuy said...

So true Jenn...we all need to be reminded of this from time to time! "quiet serenity"

Beautiful Mess said...

Awww I love that song! I'm glad you came to that realization because it IS true!!!! I love ya girlie!