Tuesday, June 23, 2009

Since getting my sushi dinner every Tuesday always manages to perk me up in the mood dept.,
From here forward - I dedicating SUSHI TUESDAYS to that little extra special something that puts a smile on my (or your) face.

You know - like when the cashier doubles your grocery coupon just just because OR the clerk at Dunkin Donuts who makes your coffee with just the perfect amount of sugar and cream without having to ask.
What's YOUR extra special something??????????????????????

My SUSHI TUESDAY extra special something is this little monkey friend.
Hubby brought me this while I was in the hospital - I love that MAN!!!
The pin in his left ear is an adoption/foster awareness ribbon that we got in class and I thought appropriate for this little guy!!! ( you know me and dressing up my animals!!!)


So you know how I was saying yesterday that I had a lot of stuff rattling around in my brain? Well I have been slowly working on sorting some of it out and decided that I am going to write about it.

Bear with me folks if this does not come out as eloquently as I would like.

Most of you know that since 2008 I have had many medical issues and hospitalizations. Some serious and some not so serious. It's been a very long, exhausting and frustrating process. It has obviously taken a toll on me physically and emotionally but it has also done a number on my loved ones as well.

When I was hospitalized last week, I chose to not contact many friends and extended family.
I realized that this may have inadvertently hurt some feelings which was not my intention.
I chose limited contact for a few reasons that I want to explain -

First off, I was in an incredibly crappy mood and state of mind. It was hard enough for me to be decent to the medical staff let alone people that I really care about.
Secondly, I really felt and looked pretty shitty. I hated even having my husband or parents see me let alone visitors.
Thirdly, and most importantly, I did not want to worry or bother people with an issue that has been ongoing and was not life threatening.

Lately I have begun to feel like I have used up my "allotted" amount of support from friends and family. Isn't that something?
Like everyone gets a tally sheet to keep track of the amount of support they offer to any given person in their lives. That eventually - your friends/family will look at their tally sheet and realize "hey - Jenn has used up all her emotional support points" and move on.

Worn out loved ones - I imagine that this is what people who have chronic illness have to deal with on a daily basis.
Thank God that I do NOT have a chronic illness and that I know this is a lengthy temporary situation which will be fixed shortly.
PLEASE UNDERSTAND.....friends and family.....I do not want to wear you out.
You mean the world to me but I know you have your own lives. You have other friends and family to worry about. You have your day to day tasks to take care.

Even if you didn't get the chance to call or visit - it's okay - I know you love me.

I know a lot of this did not come out exactly as I would have liked, but I am sure you get the idea. Thank you for indulging me in this post.

I do love you and am eternally grateful to have each and every one of you in my life.


1 comment:

Beautiful Mess said...

I know exactly how you feel about an emotional/support tally sheet. I sometimes feel as if I'm always sick and I've just stopped telling people about it. If it's something BIG, they will know. If it isn't, then I'll let em know at a later date.
Hope you're feeling better!