Monday, July 13, 2009

It's all I can do........


It was a long and emotional weekend.

I just had no desire to write anything - I was sort of at a loss for words.
It still feel that way today.

Losing Ralph is painful - there is no way around that fact.
I believe for me this hit even closer to home in that Ralph's age is the same as my parent's.

I really had not thought about my parent's mortality until this happened.
And it did happen - and I was knocked to the ground with a flood of emotions.

Sadness
grief
fear
hurt
helplessness
anger

I am just trying to sort through this emotional junk pile.
I am giving myself some time.
I am praying for direction.
I am praying for Ralph's family.
It's all I can do.
.................................................

Tomorrow is surgery day.
I think with everything on my mind, I have not had the chance to worry or feel anxiety about it. That is probably a really good thing.

I am confident that things will be taken care of and that I will be on the mend quickly.
That's what I keep telling myself.
Working hard to believe it.
I am praying that is the case.
It's all I can do.

................................................

I will be back blogging as soon as I feel up to it!
Hang in there in the meantime.

MOOD REPORT:

4 comments:

mekate said...

good luck tomorrow Jenn,
hope they take out the staple thingy and don't leave ANYTHING ELSE that you don't need-- hoping that it marks the beginning of true healing for you and a turnaround in how you are feeling.

I can't imagine the first few days will feel that great except the psychological relief knowing it is done and you are on your way.

I'll be thinking of you and sending healing energy and love your way.

warmly,
Kate

cysteract said...

I am so very sorry for your loss and will be keeping you and Ralfs family in my thoughts and prayers.

Best of luck for your surgery and the healing journey.

Take Care xX

Beautiful Mess said...

Take your time. No hurry! You've got a lot of people praying for you and sending you love. Hold on to those pieces coming into your heart.

Good luck with your surgery! Love ya sweetie!
*HUGS*

mekate said...

thinking about you and hoping all went well with your surgery and that you are comfortable and healing.
hugs (GENTLE ONES)
to you
Kate