Tuesday, September 15, 2009

Super Sushi Tuesday - a lesson in patience.

Here we are again folks....SUPER SUSHI TUESDAY!!!
It's the day of the week I devote to all the little things that put a smile on your face.

You know - like when the girl at the Dunkin Donuts throws you a freebie donut with your AM coffee OR when your hubby shows up on one of your particularly bad days with a bag of your favorite white chocolate.

Just that little extra special something - the one that puts a smile on your face!

My Super Sushi Something this week is this adorable frog pin that my dear friend, Linda got me.

It's a special reminder from her to me - FROG = Forever rely on God.
Something I often forget and can use a daily reminder of!!! Especially lately!

Don't forget to leave a comment with YOUR SUPER SUSHI SOMETHING!!!!!


You are probably saying to yourself...."where the heck have you been Jenn?
Your posts have been hit and miss - here and there -
To be honest....I miss you all more!

I guess the best I can say at this point is....."Where do I start?"

So much has gone on with this old body of mine over the last two years - Lately, it's all I can do to keep my head above water emotionally not to mention physically.

Aside from all the medical crap going on - which by the way - necessitates me undergoing yet another open abdominal surgery next week, I am doing my darndest to keep myself in an emotionally neutral zone. And before you say....."Jenn, why aren't you thinking positive?" I am aiming for neutral and not positive simply out of sheer self-preservation. The emotional energy I have put forth to keep my sanity in all this, wears me out nearly as quickly as all the physical stuff. Add in a bad day with pain and HOLY SHIT...can things get tough.

So here I am - working through it all - hoping & praying that THIS surgery works.
Not posting too much because after all.......people gotta be getting tired of listening to my woes and in all honesty, I am kind of sick of it myself.
I truly wish I had more energy - I do miss keeping up with all my bloggy friends and have done my very best to try and touch base with some of you.
For those of you I missed - I am sorry - just know you are in my thoughts!


Adoption plans are still on hold until all this medical shit is dealt with.
Does it break my heart? - ABSOLUTELY
Do I know that the timing is not right? - ABSOLUTELY
Do I wish things were different and that we could be moving forward?
YES YES and YES again.

What I do know definitively is that I must be in better place, physically, emotionally and spiritually before we consider proceeding any further on our adoption journey.
I want to be able to put my best foot forward and know that for the moment, that is just not possible with the way things stand.

So back to what all us infertiles know best.............wait.....time.....patience.
That just sucks pickles sometimes!


Zoey pic of the week:



Kimberly said...

Hang in there - sending you so many positive thoughts! I don't always comment, but I always read and I always think of you.

Anonymous said...

Aww Friend, you're going through it! I'm so sorry.

I'm going to do for you what you did for me when I was down.

*Sitting here quietly holding your hand*

mekate said...

sweetie, so sorry about the upcoming surgery, that sucks rocks! and I love your frog pin.

Here's hoping that this one makes things better, and that you can move forward into the life you want to be building. I hate that you have this detour, it is shitty and I am so sorry.

So first- I want you to feel better, feel more like yourself, and be able to NOT BE IN PAIN anymore, because sheeeh, that stuff sucks your life force and you have suffered enough for 10 or more.
And next, from your place of renewed comfort and health in the very near future, I want you to be able to have what you want.

Sending love and gentle hugs,
hang in there,

Beautiful Mess said...

I'm always here for you! Just like you are always there for me. Medical problems suck! I hope your surgery fixes all your pain. I love your frog. It's so cute! Looks like he's gonna jump up and give ya a little kiss on the cheek!

Sending you lots of love and good JUJU!

My Super Sushi Something was going grocery shopping today. It was stress free, as there weren't eleventy billion people in there. Hubby and I got to shop and joke with each other and we had a really nice time.