Thursday, October 29, 2009

Show & Tell - My Fertility giveaway

It's that time again - Show & Tell a la Mel over at Stirrup Queens.
The time of the week where you get to show off all your great stuff and then hop on over to check out what everyone else is showing!!!


My Show & Tell for this week is actually going to be a giveaway that is the result of being cooped up in the house for too long! While on my healing hiatus, I have had to become creative in finding things to keep myself busy. For instance, I have become a champion speed napper - You would be totally in awe if ya saw me nod off!!! I have also crocheted enough items to really start annoying family & friend recipients as well. Finally today, I think I went over the edge....I went to grab something out of the medicine cabinet and just started to clean things out.

This is where the giveaway comes in.

I realized I still had a large amount of my "fertility supplies" in there that had not been touched in about 9 months. I think part of me held on to this stuff because I was just not in a place to truly "let go" of the idea of having a biological child. With all the time that has passed as well as all the circumstances, I am now ready to move on.

Having said that....I am passing this lot of goodies on to one of you wonderful ladies out there in hopes that brings you one step closer to your BFP!!!

Unfortunately, I am only able to open this giveaway to my bloggy friends in the U.S. as I am paying for the shipping (sorry my overseas pals)

The lot contains:
34 Internet cheapie Ovulation predictor dip sticks (two different brands)
5 Internet cheapie pregnancy test dip sticks
*Both of the above groups of tests do not expire until 2010 or later*

1 Clearblue easy digital pregnancy test which has expired but I am throwing in anyway
I am also throwing in a freebie blessing and lots of positive thoughts as well!!!

Since this IS Show & Tell after all....Here is a pic of the items
Show & Tell was the best way I could think of to reach as many IF'ers out there as possible - my following is not a large one so I had to be creative.

If you are interested in this lot....or know someone who could really use it, please just let me know. I really IS that simple!!!
Leave me your name and email in my comments sections and I promise to get in touch with you.
This giveaway is first come - first serve.



Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Happy 1st Blogoversary to me!!!

Can you believe it folks? One year ago today, I started publishing my rants!

It seems much longer than a year but I think that's because I had all this stuff bouncing around in my head before I actually started to write.

My very first post does a pretty good job of giving a run-down of my IF history.

At the time of that first post - We were waiting on results from a pelvic MRI to give us an idea of where we were headed on our infertility journey. After those results came back and the IF doc sat us down to discuss options, it became clear that IVF was really going to be our best shot at a biological child. Just about the time that we were going through all this, I had some serious medical problems which put everything on hold. I had to take an honest look at my health and make the decision to honor my body & health first. This meant giving up the dream of having a biological child and grieving that as well. It took some time, but I worked to find a place of acceptance in that process. In all honesty, I still grieve this fact to this day - but as each day passes it gets a bit easier.

In the midst of all this, Jim and I started seriously re-visiting adoption as a family-building option for us. The more we talked about it, the more it seemed like a good fit. In the late spring of 2009, Jim and I attended the mandatory adoption classes through our county and started on our adoption paperwork as well.

Then my body had another minor break-down. BOO HISS!!!!!
It has taken a few surgeries, lots of recovery time and some incredible support from family & friends to get where I am today. Today I am feeling good - better than I have in months.
I pray that my body continues to heal and that come November, Jim and I will be able to once again actively pursue our adoption plan.
That's my hope anyway....but as I have just never know what tomorrow brings!

So there you have it - my life for the last year wrapped up neatly on this blog.
Some of it good and some of it bad - some of it hilarious and some of it heart-breaking.
But definitely, ALL of it MINE!
Life, love and laughter at the heart of it all.


UPDATE: As it is with my life: My follow-up appt. with the surgeon today did not go as I had planned. The drain I was hoping to have removed, has to stay in until the drainage decreases significantly- probably another week or so. I also have to continue on antibiotics for a month.
The good news is that everything else looks good and I am feeling great. It's a question of patience at this time....but we all know...I DON'T DO patience ya'll!!!



Monday, October 26, 2009

Antibiotics, drains and all things spooky

Yep, I made it back...and don't you just LOVE this pumpkin guy?

The long and short of the ongoing saga with my body is as follows:
1. Sept. 24th had corrective abdominal surgery which was successful
2. Spent the next three weeks healing great without difficulty from above surgery
3. Beginning of third week I developed symptoms that I thought was the flu (I was wrong!)
4. Spent a few miserable days with high fevers and severe body aches
5. Then developed swelling, redness and pain over healing incision additionally
6. Finally went back to E.R. to get re-checked
7. Large fluid abscess found in abdomen - A ha.....there's the problem!
8. Started on heavy duty antibiotics and abdominal drain placed.
9. Spent one night in hospital then insisted I go home where there are less germies
10. At home, taking antibiotics, drain still in place - Feeling MUCH better!

So there you have it - nothing too exciting.
Just me, a handful of pills and this darned drain (which is a total pain in my ass)

For those of you who are nosy or like seeing this kind of stuff (and I know you are out there)
Here is a current pic of my poor belly - it has seen better days!


Not too much else going on - hoping doc takes the drain out this week!
It has been a handful to deal with - however please allow me to share a great tip I learned while having this drain - my home-going instructions said I could shower but I was to try and keep the spray off the drain site as much as possible. I decided to try and use some of that Glad Press and Seal wrap to cover the drain site area. I took off a fairly large piece and lo and behold it stuck beautifully to my belly without ANY tape or anything. It kept the entire area completely dry while I showered and it never came off. I would recommend it to anyone to cover casts, incision sites or anything else that is not supposed to get wet. It worked for me!!! Gotta love a free shout out for a product too....Thanks GLAD company!


I am hoping to back to full speed here in the next two weeks - crossing my fingers!
Although I have not been blogging much, please know I am doing my best to keep tabs on everyone - family, in-real-life friends and bloggy friends too!
Missing you all very much!


Just cuz' this pic is too cute!


Monday, October 19, 2009

Out of order!!!!

Body under-going says it should take about a week
Promise to be back up and running soon!
Hugs and Smooches til then.

Mood Report:

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Super Sushi nice to be back!

A SUSHI RING - can you believe it???
(courtesy of ELLEBAN'S CUTIES Etsy shop)


Back again for another episode of.....SUPER SUSHI TUESDAY!
It's the day of the week that I devote ENTIRELY to all the little things that put a smile on your face and a warm feeling in your heart!


This week for my SUPER SUSHI SOMETHING it is all about gratitude!
I was truly humbled and touched with the number of people who wrote, emailed and called me during and after this last surgery. When I was straightening the house yesterday, I happened to gather up part of the get well cards that had been sent and it just made me stop and think.

Here is a pic of just some of those cards:

I am overwhelmed with gratitude - thank you for every thought, prayer, call, visit, care package and most of all love. I am blessed to have such an amazing support system.


Monday, October 12, 2009

Pondering Monday.....

"Nap time for the kitties"


Not too much to tell in the land of healing bellies......incision is still healing (slowly but healing nonetheless) I am in the itchy stage of incisional healing which sometimes just sucks tiddlywinks!!!
The age old scratch or not to scratch...that is the questions.
I am still feeling so much better than I did before the surgery - WOOT WOOT!!! Trying avidly to keep myself as busy as possible without overdoing it....which is a real juggling act I must say! Hubby and I have been working on re-arranging the house a bit. (Hubby doing the actual moving while I delegate) We moved our bedroom downstairs and moved MY Ebay office upstairs. This means that hubby and I will now be sharing a larger combined Ebay office. It will be our first time sharing a work space together - so I am holding my breath to see how it works out. We shall see!

In my attempts at keeping myself busy during the day, I picked back up my crocheting.

Now I definitely feel I need to qualify here to all the TRUE knitters/crocheter/crafty people out there.......I use the terms "my crocheting" very lightly. I am a true NOVICE in every sense - don't know a thing about patterns or fancy stitches. Never read a how-to book on crocheting in my life. Even though my mom taught me the basics of crocheting when I was like 10 years old, I never really picked it up as a hobby until I was in my late twenties. When I decided to quit smoking the first time around (I am a second time quitter...hehe) I needed something to keep my hands busy. I decided on crocheting and it really did help me in that endeavor. (um yeah...until I started again) I made a Sh*tload of half-ass scarves and other odds & ends. (my family was OH SO delighted to get them as surprise presents....NOT!!!) I taught myself about three different stitches and have stuck with them. I played around trying to figure out how to make different shapes (sometimes with great success and sometimes not)

So while I sit home here recuperating, I decided to pick back up this old hobby and see where it took me. I think my official count of "crocheted items" is at four with another project in progress. I made a scarf, a couple of purses, and a hanging kitchen dishtowel.
I will post pics of a few of the items but please note....they are not great.....lots of missed stitches, uneven rows, etc. Most importantly, I had fun trying!!!


While sitting on the front porch swing crocheting the other day, I was suddenly overwhelmed by this strange sense of melancholy. It actually made me stop what I was doing and think for a few minutes. I looked around and tried to take in my surroundings in that moment, wondering if somehow that was what was triggering my sad feelings. I noticed the beauty in the autumn leaves and the squirrels across the street scampering around gathering their winter bounty. I noticed the neighborhood children on their bikes riding up and down the street, yelling at one another. I noticed our neighbors quietly raking up leaves and weather-proofing their houses.
None of this seemed to be the root of my sadness.

Then I looked down at my hands - my hands holding all this lovely colorful yarn. Yarn that I was using to crochet projects for friends and family. Yarn that had been used to crochet baby shower gifts over the last few years. Yarn that I was sure I would soon get to use for US...for OUR CHILD...for OUR FAMILY...and Yet, here I was - in the same place I was a few years ago.
Crocheting for others.
I guess that's has to's my reality for now.

But it did make me sad to think about it.
Funny how this Infertility monster creeps up in the weirdest places and at the strangest times.
Apparently that's the nature of the beast.


Friday, October 9, 2009

Show & Tell - Where the H*ll have I been?

Did ya' miss me? Just a little? Bet ya did!!
It's that time again - Show & Tell a la Mel over at Stirrup Queens.
The time of the week where you get to show off all your great stuff and then hop on over to check out what everyone else is showing!!!


Sorry for the extended absence -I had my surgery which put all things on hold for a bit but was amazingly successful!!!

I will try to explain a bit without making this too long - The original mesh that had been put in for my hernias was infected and my body had been rejecting it for several months. I saw several surgeons who kept telling me that either I had adhesions or that nothing was wrong. I continued to have problems and knew that something was not right. Finally, I got pissed off enough that I did some research and found lots of information showing that the type of mesh that was used in me, had a very bad track record. It had actually been voluntarily recalled by the makers in 2007 after many complaints to the FDA. I then researched finding a hernia specialist that might help me. I ended up seeing a doc that had taken care of me in 2008 when all my belly problems had started. He not only knew my medical history but agreed immediately that the mesh was the problem. He said the other docs were absolutely WRONG and that he was sorry I went all that time without someone treating me. The surgery involved him going in and removing the infected mesh - he then replaced it with a much safer mesh combination. When I woke up after surgery, I knew things had finally been fixed!
Needless to say I am feeling much better!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

If you all will indulge me, I thought for Show & Tell this week, I would show off a few things.

1. Starting with a pic of my healing belly.....Now if you get queasy easily or just don't like looking at body parts....THIS IS YOUR WARNING TO LEAVE NOW!!!

This pic shows part of the incision line - I had 60 staples in all - I have since had most of the staples removed with about 5 remaining to help one area that is taking longer to heal. Please know that I am pushing myself to post this pic because it shows my chubby belly-stretch marks and all.
I am feeling SOOOOO much better after this surgery and believe that I am finally on the road to a complete recovery - WOOT!!!!!


2. The second pic is our highly unsuccessful attempt at dressing up Zoey for Halloween. The shirt says " SPOOKY" which you probably won't be able to see in the pic. Every time we actually got the shirt on her and put her down, she would fall over. It was was like she felt she could NOT move at all with it on.
(I know I know....we torture that cat....but it's SOOOO fun ya'll!)


The third pic I am posting was sadly taken this morning......The utter destruction captured in it is appalling. I am asking for ANY information leading to capture and arrest of this devious "mini-blind bandit" Please help STOP this madness!!!!


I hope to be back to my old blogging self soon - hang in there with me!